Needing Daddy

Throughout the day yesterday Dustin and I were sending dirty texts back and forth while he was at work. Nothing too explicit, or even outrageous, but we were both incredibly sexually charged and were craving each other. Since we're staying with friends until we can find a bigger place, most of our stuff is in storage, including all of our sex toys. I mentioned this to Dustin, and he told me to get on the web site of our favorite local sex shop Fascinations and check it out to see what I can find because I have credit there. Browsing through the site got me even more turned on, so I texted him telling him. He clearly enjoyed the text because we continued texting about what we wanted to do when he got home. I made my blog post yesterday, and by the time I finished it, I needed to take a nice hot shower and rub one out, so that's exactly what I did. Of course, I told Dustin I had posted the new blog, he had already read it at work and was sitting in the back room with a raging hard on....which turned me on even more.

Dustin got home from work around 9pm, and we still needed to get out little girl to bed. Surprisingly, she was pretty easy to get to sleep this time, for the first time in a week or two. The second she was asleep, I jumped on top of Dustin and started kissing and grinding on him. His hands immediately went to my tits. We had won some nipple charms from Erotica World (who's blog can be found here) because we simply commented and voted on a poll Lacy was conducting, so we tried those out. I had told Dustin that I wanted him to get rough, we hadn't gotten rough in a very long time, and we both get off on it, and since our roommates were out for the evening, this was the perfect opportunity. I also needed him to be my Daddy. I wanted him to have complete control, and no matter what I said or did in the moment, I wanted him to keep going.

When we do the Daddy, little girl role play, inevitably a "Mommy" is brought up. The fact that "Mommy" won't do the things Daddy likes is why he plays with his little girl. The dirty talk began with Daddy saying what he wanted to do to me. I told him I will do anything he wants, I know Mommy doesn't like to play with him, and that's why he comes to play with me, and I love it. I want to be his little girl forever, and I promise not to tell anyone because I don't want to be taken away from him. He kept rubbing his hands along my stomach and boobs, concentrating on my tits. His hands kept cupping my breasts, rubbing, grabbing, kissing them. His hands started to travel down towards my pussy. I was already so wet, I could feel it on his pants, through my pants and panties. I could feel his nice hard cock rubbing against me as I was grinding on him, and felt like I was so close to cumming. He started to tease my clit, coming close to rubbing it, making me buck my hips closer to him.

He started talking about the things Mommy didn't want to do with him, one of them being him playing with her ass. I love having Daddy play with my ass, and since we were on a futon that is low to the floor, I immediately got up, turned around, pulled my pants and panties off, and straddled him again with my ass in his face. "Is this what you want, Daddy?" My question was answered with a happy moan, and a tongue shoved deep in my ass. It didn't take long for him to put his finger in, a little at first, and gradually more. I kept pushing back on him, wanting more, needing more. He was enjoying my ass as much as I was enjoying everything he was doing. He made me cum, but I still needed more of him. I stood up, and pulled him up to face me.

As we were face to face, I sunk down to the floor, pulling his pants and boxers down with me at the same time. His hard cock exposed, I started stroking. I looked up at him as I was shoving him deep inside my mouth. Daddy said that was something Mommy wouldn't do for him anymore, and when she did, she wasn't nearly as good as his little girl. I like playing with Daddy like that. I love seeing how happy I make him, and I really love knowing how good he's feeling.

I could tell if I kept playing with Daddy like that, he was going to cum, and I still needed to feel him inside me. We climbed up onto the bed, and Daddy laid on his stomach. I continued kissing on him, rubbing my hands all over. I had him roll over so I could grind on him a little more. I even shoved the tip of his cock inside my pussy, and bounced up and down a couple times, then licked my juices off him.

Daddy loves it when I can taste myself, and I really enjoying tasting myself on him. We were both ready for him to be in me by now, and I laid down on my back so that he could insert all of himself. I love that initial thrust inside me. I'm always really tight when he first shoves his cock in me, so I feel every part of him even more with that first thrust. He started nice and slow, but I was cumming immediately. He lifted my legs up, and started kissing my feet. The second he did this, I came hard, begging him not to stop, telling how good he was making me feel, telling him I wanted him to feel this good because Mommy obviously doesn't take care of him like I do. Daddy was feeling good, and enjoying every inch of me, but I could tell there was something missing. Daddy needed to get rough, and he started growling in my ear. I asked Daddy to punish me for all the things Mommy wouldn't do for him. I told him I wanted him to take it all out on me. He smiled as he growled and began to slap and choke me. I tried to fight back, Daddy had a lot of built up anger towards Mommy, but that only made Daddy choke and slap harder. When I was writhing in pain and pleasure, on the verge of tears from everything, Daddy and I came together.

We haven't gotten rough like that in a long time, and because of all the pleasure and pain involved my head was scrambled. When I came down off the high of it all, I was crying like an actual little girl. Dustin saw this and immediately asked if I was okay. He had slapped and choked me pretty hard and was afraid he had hurt me. When I explained to him I was fine and had no idea I was crying, he seemed relieved.

I loved playing with Dustin like this, and I was so thankful we were able to do it again. I love that he can make me feel so good it brings me to tears, even if that includes a little pain along the way. I just hope we can do it again very soon. :)

Making Up

What is it about fighting with someone you love that makes the sex afterwards so incredible? I am one of those people where, when I am pissed off or arguing with someone I care about, it turns me on immensely. Even if I am hurt or upset, if he were to touch me at all, I would melt into him. I think this is part of why the rape fantasy captivates my attention the way it does. At the same time, making up after a fight makes me very submissive and wanting to please my Daddy in any way he wants.

This last month has been very trying for us. We are currently staying with friends, with all of us looking to get into a house in the near future. In the meantime, we are all in cramped quarters, but enjoying the company. I have 3 children, 2 with my first husband, and Bug with Dustin. My 2 oldest daughters have been living with their dad since March, my middle daughter has lived with him since 2008. She had expressed wanting to come live with us again, and decided to do the adult thing and discuss it with her dad. He flipped out, and kicked her out. He brought her here, so things are even more cramped.

Through all of this, Dustin and I were arguing. Well, if you call not speaking to each other for a few days arguing, that's what we were doing. When we started talking again, I hugged him, and began to kiss on his neck. Just being able to touch him and have him touch me for the first time in days got me wet. I wanted nothing more than to feel every last inch of him right then, but everyone was still up and we were in the kitchen.

Once the girls were asleep, I started kissing on him again. I started with his neck. When I start to kiss on Dustin, I take everything in, the texture of his skin, the smell of his skin, the way his breath catches when I kiss him in just the right spot, the little moan that escapes from his lips as I continue to kiss, lick, and suck. This particular night we had to be as quiet as possible, so I didn't hear too many moans, though a few escaped here and there. I mostly heard the tempo of his breath changing. I wrapped myself around him and ran my hands along his body as we kissed. It had been quite awhile since we had made out, and it felt like it had been even longer since we had fucked, and I was craving him, badly.

I laid down on the bed, and continued to run my hands along his body, feeling his hard cock jump every time I would grab it. I absolutely love grabbing his cock, feeling it get harder in my grasp, knowing that at that moment, I have the power to make him feel better than he ever has before, plus I just love feeling his cock in any way I can. :)

I was a little tired, and ended up falling asleep before anything else could happen. Several hours later I was awakened by a rather intense orgasm. I thought it was an incredibly vivid dream at first, then I opened my eyes, and felt his hand pressed against my clit, kissing on my neck. Once he knew I was awake, that's when he shoved his fingers deep into my already dripping pussy, causing my body to arch in pleasure, begging him for more. He was already sending me into another world, not able to focus on anything other than the pleasure he was giving me, when I started to hear him whispering in my ear, "Cum for me baby, cum for your Daddy." I didn't want to control myself, but I knew I had to. He knew I was cumming, and he wanted to keep me cumming. I started begging him to fuck me, but he wouldn't. He said he wanted to feel my mouth on him.

I was cumming again and decided I should give him exactly what he asked for. I grabbed his hard cock and began stroking again. I then licked my hand, and stroked a little harder and faster. He got harder with every stroke, and I couldn't resist shoving all of him in my mouth. I could tell he was enjoying this because he wasn't rubbing on my clit as hard, and switched to playing with my ass. I sucked up and down his gorgeous shaft (have I mentioned before that I'm in love with Dustin's penis? Well, now you know.) alternating between using my mouth and my hand. He was getting close to cumming, because he put his hand on the back of my head and shoved his cock back into my mouth. I could feel  him throbbing, getting even closer to cumming. I stroked him with my hand, in unison with my mouth and tongue, hearing his moans, feeling his breathing getting faster, until I felt him explode in my mouth. I sucked every last drop I could out of him, and swallowed it all too. I love the taste of his cum, too.

It was an incredibly erotic way to make up, but I loved it. It was also just a warm up, because we're both still craving each other......we're hoping to get our fix tonight. I'll write about it as soon as it happens. I have been a very naughty wife today, sending him texts about things I want to do, pictures I've been looking at from our threesome and how hot they are.....I'm hoping that has been enough to get him good and turned on. We shall see!

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Need to get this off my chest

Hello readers. It's been awhile since I've posted anything, and I apologize. It's not that we haven't been having amazing sex (we always do), I just haven't been able to write anything. And I will apologize in advance that this blog entry isn't directly related to sex either, rather it's something that has been weighing on my mind for a few days, and if I don't get it out somehow, it will eat me alive.

Currently, we are in the process of moving. We are staying with friends until we find a place, and this all came about quite suddenly. I'd rather not go into the details of that here, but let's just say, it's not exactly happy circumstances. Anyways, my husband (who's blog can be found here) posted some things on Facebook that he didn't mean. It upset and worried a lot of people, including family.

The day after those posts were made was the day we needed to get everything out of the old apartment. It was a clusterfuck, but we got it done, thankfully. In the middle of packing, loading up the Uhaul, taking things to where we'd be staying, taking care of our pets and 2 year old, all on very little sleep, my brother-in-law decides he's going to text the exact same thing 20+ times to my husband. He also started calling, a lot. To be fair to both sides, Dustin's phone was on silent, and he didn't have it on him, so he didn't know about it until much later in the day.

Cue my phone starting to go off. I got a text message, in the middle of trying to coordinate movers to come help, asking me why Dustin was ignoring him. First off, I don't know how he got my number, but whatever. I was polite and texted back that everything was fine, but didn't elaborate. I was a little busy, after all. He asked if he could help, I told him no, and I thought that was the end of it.

We finally have the Uhaul loaded up, and are driving over to the storage unit to put everything inside. My phone rings, and it's my brother-in-law. I don't answer and let it go to voice mail. Before I can even listen to the voice mail, he texts me, asking me why Dustin is ignoring him, and if I could get Dustin to call ASAP because he's worried. I was honest and told him it may not be till the next day because we were a bit busy. His response: "Seriously? I understand you guys are in crisis mode but after what he said on Facebook he can't take two minutes to call or text??"
My response: "I'm not with him. He's taking care of our daughter, and I'm moving. He's fine, I'll have him call you when he gets a chance." I thought that was the end of it. Boy, was I wrong.

Over the next 2 days, he continues to text Dustin incessantly, while Dustin is at work and can't answer. Because he wasn't getting the response he wanted, or felt he deserved, he resorts to posting on Dustin's Facebook wall. This is where I got pissed off.
I can't say I remember everything he wrote, and Dustin has since taken it down, but it went along the lines of because of what Dustin posted on Facebook, and since what we write in our blogs is pretty deviant stuff (because a husband and wife writing about their sex life is really fucking deviant behavior), we could get our daughter taken away from us. Any good, decent parent in the world would probably have the same reaction I did. Fuck you. You're family, and you're threatening that our daughter could be taken away? Who the fuck are you? I know the laws in the state of Colorado, and I know that no, she could not be taken away because of the Facebook posts. And what we write in our blogs? I personally view it as us sharing our love, and the enjoyment we get from one another with the world. I think it's a beautiful thing that we love each other enough, and are comfortable with and trust each other enough to put ourselves out there like that. There aren't a lot of happy marriages out there now, and I'd like to think that we inspire people, in one way or another. I could be completely off on all of that, but that's how I feel about it. So to say our blog posts are "deviant" is completely absurd to me.

If that is how you actually feel, don't read my fucking blog, or Dustin's for that matter. I understand that he was concerned about his brother, and just wanted to make sure he was okay. I get that, but for fuck's sake, don't go off the deep end, and understand when people are in a crisis situation that you may not be at the top of their list of things to do or people to contact. If you've been told that the person you're worried about is okay, take it at that and give them a day or two to let things settle down before you start calling and texting non-stop.

I have never met my brother-in-law face to face, and after last week, I'd honestly rather not meet him. I have no desire to get to know someone that threatens to take my kids from me, for no good fucking reason. And if you happen to stumble upon this post, dear brother-in-law, go with your gut on how I feel about you. I don't know you, you don't know me, but your gut has never been wrong before, right?

Again, I apologize to my regular readers. I will have something sexy up soon, I promise. Like I said, I just needed to get this off my chest.

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Morning Head

Since I've started my new job, I seem to get up with more than enough time to get ready in the morning. With it being summer, Dustin and I usually sleep naked just because it's too hot to sleep with anything on. We go to bed at different times, so I never know until I get up in the morning if he is naked or not. Having the extra time in the morning has been nice because I've been able to enjoy looking at his body. I think my husband is sexy as hell, and I'm very lucky to have him. He works out, and takes care of his body, and I just love staring at it. I honestly can't help myself, not that I would want to. His arms, his legs, his ass, his back, I mean, it's all amazing.
Where was I? Oh yeah. So when I'm getting ready for work in the morning, I have a clear view of him sleeping in bed. I have found myself, on at least 2 occasions, not able to control myself. Both times, I simply walked over to the bed and started kissing on him. Each time, he woke up, a little, but not really.

The first time he was already on his back. I was wearing leggings, his favorite next to tall socks, and began to suck on his gorgeous cock. He woke up quickly after that. I sucked and stroked and teased his cock. It was different because I knew I was on a little bit of a time limit, and that is something I'm not used to at all. I'm used to being able to take my time and go as slow as I wanted. It was almost like a challenge to me that I gladly accepted. He was playing with me while I was sucking on him, which is always a nice turn of events, and I wasn't expecting it at all. I got off, and then it was time for me to get him off. I love feeling how hard he's getting in my mouth and my hand. I love feeling him buck his hips towards me because he wants more and is close to filling my mouth with his hot cum. I love hearing him moan, grunt, growl (depending on the mood) while I have him in my mouth. I especially love feeling his hands roam aimlessly over my body, and then grab hold tightly because he's about to explode. I love everything about giving him head. In case I haven't mentioned this before, I swallow. If he cums in my mouth, I swallow every last drop, and will continue to play with him to make sure I get all of it, and give him an intense orgasm in the process. I finished him off, swallowed all of it, and finished getting ready for work.

Then came this morning. I've been very horny all week, and getting him off always makes me feel a little better, for the moment. I have been waking up way before my alarm this week, and this morning was no exception. I got up and tried to take my time getting ready for work, but didn't have coffee, and didn't feel like really doing my hair, so I just put it up and was ready to go in no time. Today, I wore a nice short skirt to work, with a thong. It would have provided very easy access, and I was considering just mounting him and getting myself off, but I had to get him hard first. And then I realized he was sleeping on his stomach. I can't mount him this way, what am I going to do. I started kissing on his neck and shoulders, and could tell he was semi-conscious, so I told him to roll over. Looking at him, I could hardly contain myself. I knew he still wasn't awake, so I would have to work to get him hard. I had a little more time to play because I woke up so early. Hearing him gradually waking up, feeling him get harder in my hand and mouth was such a turn on. I had started kneeling on the bed, but as he woke up and got harder, I decided to stand next to the bed so he could touch me, too. The harder he got, the more he moaned, the more I wanted him to cum.

I started to feel, and see, his hips starting to move. I knew I was doing a good job. I pulled him out of my mouth, and started to use just my hand. I was caressing the tip because I know that's the most sensitive part, I love the reaction I get from him when I do that. He was quickly becoming breathless, and started begging me to suck on him some more. I was enjoying using my hand at the moment, so that's what I continued to do. I could tell he was close, and by now, I was doing everything I could just to make him explode. I didn't have to wait long. I was able to catch most of it in my hand, but dribbled a little onto his abdomen. I went to get something to clean it up with, and once I cleaned it off him, I stroked him a few more times, just for that added release for him. I kissed him, and told him to go back to sleep.

That's just the kind of wife I am. :)

I'm an Asshole

I think the title of this post really explains it all. For anyone that has been reading my blog for any amount of time, you have probably noticed that there haven't been an abundance of posts lately. To be honest, real life has gotten in the way, and I don't seem to have much material to work with. I guess it started when Dustin posted this blog entry. It upset me a lot. So, I began to go out of my way to start things, and come on to him. I started a new job, so I'm working days now and have to get up early in the morning. I have to force myself to stay up until he gets home from work most nights just so I can see him, let alone have sex with him. I pointed out to him, that while I understand he was just voicing his needs, I have some needs too. I go to bed alone every night. There may be 1 night every couple of months or so where we go to bed at the same time. I absolutely hate it. I have always known that he's a night owl, and it's fine, but I need my husband to come lay in bed and cuddle with me every now and then, not go to sleep, just fucking lay with me. And I don't need it all the time, once a week, once a month, something would be nice. I've told him this time and time again in the 4 years we've been married, and his response is always that he's not tired when I go to bed. So, I need to learn how to get over it.
I miss holding hands. I miss him putting his arms around me just because he wants to. I just miss how things used to be, when we would both attack each other the second we were alone together. I miss making out with him, hell, I miss getting kisses (other than the obligatory peck on the lips when he leaves for work, and I don't even get that all the time) on a regular basis, not just when one of us is in the mood.
The other day, while I was getting ready for work, I walked over and kissed him while I thought he was asleep. He started rubbing on me, so I decided to give him a blow job. Now, don't get me wrong, I love giving my husband blow jobs. I know how much he enjoys it, too. He was playing with me a little while I was giving him head, but I was doing this mostly for him. I've also been wearing leggings almost every day this week because I know how much he enjoys them, as well. We used our last condom last week, and haven't bought more, so we can't have vaginal sex right now, so wearing the leggings has been kind of dumb on my part. Granted, there are plenty of other things we could do besides that, but I found out yesterday that I have to say what I want to do. Sigh.
Last night, he came to bed and started playing with me, and it was amazing. Waking up to the start of an orgasm is always good. Anyways, when I was done, I thought we were done. Again, I'm an asshole. I didn't even attempt to finish him off, or ask about it until he opened the toy drawer and started rummaging through it. I told him then that I would, that I had no problem with it, I just didn't think about it, but all I got was "No, it's fine." I even attempted to be aggressive about it, something he's said he wants me to do, and still nothing. As I'm writing this I'm practically in tears because I didn't give him what he wanted. Why is that? Why am I so upset about not giving him what he wanted one time? Am I just an asshole, or am I really that stupid? I'm starting to feel like I'm not good enough for him, no matter what I do, and I don't know how to fix that.

Oh Mommy

I started to fall asleep on the couch last night, not that there's anything unusual about that, I fall asleep on the couch most nights. Dustin was walking around in his boxer briefs and a tank top. He pulled his underwear down to show me his ass, which I proceeded to bite. Not all men have an ass, let alone a nice ass. Dustin, however, has a gorgeous ass. It's not huge, but he definitely has one. It's something I can grab a hold of for a nice hard fuck. Anyways, I began biting his ass, along with rubbing my hands all over his body. He's got an amazing body, and has worked hard for it, losing 60 pounds within the last year. He's toned and working on definition now. Running my hands all along his body, I can feel the form of all his muscles. I sometimes have him flex for me just so I can rub on him. I laid back on the couch, and started to doze off again. That's when he started to run his hands along my body. At first it was gentle, almost a tickle, but then his hands got down to my ass, and he began to spank me. With each passing smack on my ass, he would hit just a little harder, in the same spot causing me to moan and and squirm. I love getting spanked by Dustin. He knows exactly how to get me off doing it. We had talked about maybe doing some anal play, and we were both very excited for whatever was about to happen.
We headed to the bedroom, where we let our hands explore each others body. Not only have we been talking about anal play, but the subject of me dominating Dustin in the bedroom has been coming up more frequently. As we were laying in bed, my ass still tingling from the spankings I had been given a short time ago, the dirty talk started. I love hearing Dustin tell me what he wants to do to me, what he's going to do to me, or what he wants me to do to him. While he's telling me he wants me to play with his ass, he's still touching me, and my body is craving more. He begins to kiss along my spine, while digging his fingers into my ribs, the sensation of pain and pleasure all at once about to overwhelm me. My first reaction is to the pain, but the pain feels so good, I can't help but to start moaning.
It's now my turn to tease him for a little bit, and hopefully make him crave my body a little more. I have him lay down, and I start kissing all over him, letting my hands wander. I love feeling his body react when my hands linger in certain places. Caressing next to his balls, running my fingers close to his hardening cock but not touching it, playing with his ass all get me the reaction I'm looking for. I hear a moan escape from his lips here and there. I feel his cock flinch in anticipation of my next touch. Dustin has a gorgeous cock, and it's the perfect size. I can get all of it in my mouth, and love to do so. This night was no exception. I swallowed his cock, and could tell he enjoyed it. By this point, we had teased each other enough, but we both wanted more.

I rolled over onto my stomach and told him to fuck me. Even though we had been discussing anal, I wanted him in my pussy. I was dripping already and craving him. He shoved his hard cock inside me, and started to thrust, hard. It felt amazing, but I knew it could feel even better. The dirty talk had continued, but there was something new added. Dustin started calling me "Mommy." It wasn't something I had asked him to do, but he knew how much I got off on calling him Daddy, so I had no problem going along with it. When he started saying Mommy, it started to feel weird to have him taking me from behind. I knew that I needed to be on top, to be in control, to be Mommy. I pulled away from him, and told him to get on his back. I straddled him, shoved him inside me, and almost immediately started to cum. The more I bounced on his cock, the harder I came, the more he kept saying Mommy. I let all my juices out, and they began to drip down his sides, as he started to say things like a child, begging his Mommy for more.
Once I came the first time, I was able to be more in control of the situation. Hearing Dustin saying Mommy, begging me not to stop, feeling him squirm beneath me was such a turn on, it made me want to torture him more. It made me want to not give him what he was asking for, not yet anyways. I started to rock back and forth on his cock, in an irregular manner, hard and soft, slow and fast. I trying to bring him to the edge, and then yank him back from it at the last second. Instead, I ended up throwing myself over the edge, making myself cum again, even harder than before, all the while, hearing him cry out, "Mommy!"
I enjoy getting myself off as much as the next gal, but by this point, I needed to make sure Dustin got off, too. I knew he was close, I could feel him getting harder inside me. I kept riding him, slowly at first, gradually increasing my speed as I whispered in his ear. "Do you want Mommy to make you feel good?"
"Yes, Mommy. I'm close Mommy, I can feel the tingle."
"Let it go, baby. Mommy wants you to let it go."

I was riding him harder and faster now, I wanted him to cum. I was kissing and licking his neck, shoving my tongue into his mouth, wrapping my hands around his neck to begin choking him. The choking did it. He came, hard. I could feel him draining into me. I came again, too. I seem to always cum again with him. I collapsed on top of him, and began to tell him how much I liked him calling me Mommy. He clearly enjoyed it as well. I hope this becomes another regular part of our already amazing sex life.

My Blog on Erotica World

First off, I'm amazed that anyone reads my blog to begin with. Second, being asked by Lacy (follow her on Twitter @netfux) to use my blog on her podcast was incredibly flattering. The entry that features my blog is titled "2/3 of a Threesome" so check it out. Here is the link. Check it out, and leave some feedback.

Thank you again, Lacy!! :)

Happy Father's Day

It started with me sitting on the couch with a pair of knee high socks, a little thong, and a tank top on. I know how much Dustin loves my socks, so I draped my legs across his lap. Almost immediately, he started rubbing on them. This led to a wonderful foot massage, which will always put me in the mood. We started talking about what we wanted to do. We're always up for trying new things, doing something out of the ordinary. Missionary generally comes in to play after neither of us can think of anything else more creative. We headed to the bedroom, and started pulling out toys. Since we don't use all of our toys and devices all the time, I forget how much we have. We had decided that Dustin was going to tie me up and blindfold me to start, and then just let what happened from there, happen.
I laid down on the bed, put the blindfold on, and put my arms up so Dustin to tie my to the bed. He then proceeded to run a feather along my body. Being blindfolded, and not knowing what was going to come next, where he was going to touch me, how he was going to touch me, just made everything that much more intense. He used some clit stimulator gel on me, and continued to massage my clit, soft, hard, knowing exactly how to touch me by the way my body is reacting to him. Dustin knows me, and my body so well, it just makes sex with him that much more fun. (You should check out his hot blog here.)
He was using his lips, tongue and fingers, and I was about to cum. He could see this, so he shoved his fingers deep into my pussy, and began finger fucking me good and hard. He was playing with my ass, too, which always gets me off. This orgasm was very deep, almost primal, and I didn't want it to end. He kept hitting just the right spot, making me cum harder and harder. I was wet and ready for him to shove his big, hard cock in me. But I had to wait. It was my turn to tease and play with him.
I put on my long satin gloves and began to rub my hands all over his body. He was still on his knees right next to me, so I rolled over on my side and began giving him head. I absolutely love to suck on Dustin's cock. It's gorgeous, it's the perfect size, and knowing how much he enjoys it makes it that much more fun for me. While I was playing with his cock, he shoved a finger completely in my ass, and started finger fucking my ass, with no lube. This was a first because we always use lube for any kind of serious ass play like that, but this time I didn't need it. In fact, I almost enjoyed it more because it was so spontaneous. Him playing with my ass made me want to suck his cock even more. I had to be careful though, I wanted his cock in more places than just my mouth. When he was done with my ass, I had him lay down on his back. I was rubbing him all over with my gloves again, sucking his cock, and I even grabbed the feather to rub along his cock and balls. He seemed to really enjoy that, too.
I got on top of him, and pushed my pussy onto his hard cock. I didn't put him in me yet, this was still part of me teasing him. This is when the dirty talk started. I absolutely love it when Dustin talks dirty to me. I love hearing everything he wants to do to me, or have me do to him. This time, it was all about what he wanted me to do to him. And it was hot. Dustin enjoys anal play both ways, giving and receiving (you can read that blog post here.) so he was telling me how he would like to do a role reversal. He would like me to take control one night, with the strap on, and have my way with him. He was telling me how he'd like to stroke my cock (strap-on) while I play with him. Just hearing him talk about it got me so turned on, I couldn't tease him any longer, I needed him now. (Just thinking about it again just not has me all turned on all over again!)
It was finally time to fuck! I mounted him and began to ride. He was still telling me all kinds of dirty things just making me grind my pussy on his cock harder and faster. He could feel how wet I was getting, and even began to encourage me to not only cum, but to soak him with my juices. I was more than happy to oblige, and I followed orders. He made me cum again quickly by rubbing my clit while I continued to ride him. At this point, I have cum so much, and so hard, that my legs are giving out and I can't lift myself up to keep riding. Dustin has me get on my stomach, and proceeds to fuck me, hard, from behind. He grabbed my hair and my neck. I asked him which was going to get him off more, thinking of fucking me in the ass, or thinking of me fucking him in the ass. That got him very hard, very fast, and he fucked me just to get himself off at that point. Of course, it made me cum again, too.

To Squirt or not to Squirt?

It's been awhile since I've posted anything here. Truth be told, there hasn't been much to write about lately. Too many other things going on in my regular life that wouldn't make for an interesting read. And then there was the one night last week.
I don't remember if I've ever talked about squirting before or not, but I will be talking about it in this blog. Up until 4 years ago, I had never even heard of squirting, so when my boyfriend at the time (now husband) mentioned it, I was completely clueless. At first, I thought it was a golden shower, which didn't interest me at all. Dustin then sent me a couple of squirting videos, and I thought they were hot as hell. What man doesn't want to make the woman he's with just explode in every way possible? What woman, for that matter, doesn't want her man to make her physically unable to stand because his cock hit just the right spot? So we both started doing research to try to find out how and why women squirt. Just reading that sentence makes me giggle....how many people do you know who will research something sexual? Although, I guess, to a certain extent, porn is research in some capacity, so it's not too far fetched.
Everything that I found about squirting said that I needed to relax. Okay, I can do that. Wait, can I? I haven't ever really thought about if I'm relaxed or not during sex. I have always focused on how good it feels. Hmmmm, okay I need to be a little more conscious about what my muscles are doing during sex.
I also read that it could feel like you need to urinate, that is okay, and just push through it. Excuse me, what? Push through feeling the need to pee? But doesn't that mean that I will pee the bed? Maybe, maybe not. Dustin said he was okay if that's what happened, if it helped me to be able to squirt. Hold on, I have to relax, AND push through feeling like I have to pee? How the fuck do you do that? I started to get confused, and overwhelmed, so we just stopped talking about it.
We have mentioned it in passing here and there, and he really wants to make me squirt, and I really want to squirt. I know it's physically possible for every woman to squirt, but psychologically it's not. So, we stopped trying and just went back to enjoying our very active, very satisfying sex life.
One night, I was riding Dustin. I love to be on top. I can get his cock so far in me, and I can be in complete control. I can make his cock hit every spot I want it to hit to get myself off. I think that's what I enjoy most about riding him, as selfish as it may sound, I get myself off hard and fast, and then I focus on him. I have learned how to get myself to cum so hard that all I can do is collapse on top of Dustin. In doing that, I have also learned that I soak him with my juices.
The other night, I did just that. I was riding Dustin to my little hearts content, and the juices were flowing, to the point I could feel them running down  my legs, I was actually splashing in them every time I came down on him. I don't think I squirted, but with all my juices flowing, how do I know I didn't? And yes, those were all my juices. We use condoms during sex because I am not getting pregnant again. So, until I get my tubes tied, condoms it is!
I don't know for sure if this has made me squirt, but it has definitely made my juices flow, and that has been very nice. That's not to say that I wouldn't mind being able to squirt (and know it) one day, but I've definitely taken the emphasis off it. I've learned to relax more during sex, and in doing so, I've enjoyed it MUCH more. I always have very intense orgasms with Dustin. This night in particular, I actually couldn't speak for a little bit after we finished. We definitely work well together in bed, and I love it!

100 things about me.

Okay, okay, okay. I know I'm a bit late in getting to this, but better late then never, right? I don't know if I'll be able to do the full 100, but I will do my best. So, here we go!

1. I have moved around, a lot. I used to change schools frequently.
2. I went to 3 elementary schools, 2 middle schools, and 3 high schools. (Not including being homeschooled for the end of my sophmore year because I had mono.)
3. When we moved to Colorado Springs, I was sick almost constantly for the first year we were there.
4. All of my daughters are named after family members.
5. I have had self-esteem issues most of my life.
6. I stayed in an abusive marriage because I thought that was what I deserved, and I thought I couldn't raise my kids on my own.
7. I met my husband online, and fell deeply in love with him before ever meeting him face to face.
8. The longest I have lived in one home since I moved out of my parents house is 2 1/2 years.
9. I have had a variety of jobs in my life. I've been a lunch lady, a manager at McDonald's, and a telemarketer.
10. While I have taken a few college classes, I never got my degree.
11. I miss my kitty Herman and my dog Cleo.
12. I lived in Germany for 3 years and loved it so much I didn't want to come back to the U.S.
13. <-------That is my lucky/favorite number.
14. I love Friday the 13th.
15. My favorite meal as a kid was my grandmother's roast beef, potatoes and carrots.
16. Sadly, I don't remember anything about that grandmother from before her Alzheimer's got really bad.
17. My extended family is spread out all across the country, and I don't really see any of them.
18. It doesn't upset me too much because I've never really been that close with any of them.
19. At the moment, I have 3 complete tattoos, and am working on my 4th, and largest.
20. I lost my virginity at 16 to a man I thought I would end up marrying.
21. I never saw him again after that.
22. The first time I got pregnant, I was 18.
23. The last time I got pregnant, I was 33.
24. I have 1 sibling, a younger brother.
25. We are only 11 months apart, and are the same age for a month.
26. My mother lives an hour away, and has only seen my youngest daughter 3 times in the last 2 years.
27. My dad and step-mom are usually my babysitters now.
28. I have been with a woman before, but I wasn't attracted to her (more the thought of being with another woman), and was so incredibly nervous that I didn't enjoy it as much as I could have.
29. My ex husband set up several threesomes for us (MMF) without telling me, and then would guilt me into going along with it.
30. Of all the men I've been with, only 2 have been able to make me cum through oral and penetration.
31. Of all the men I've been with, only 1 has left me absolutely breathless after sex.
32. I've only ever really enjoyed giving one man head.
33. I've enjoyed it so much, that I almost make myself cum just from doing it sometimes.
34. <-----This is how old I am right now.
35. I'm not afraid to tell people my age.
36. No one believes me anyways. They all think I'm younger.
37. My first husband is 5 years older than me.
38. Once we divorced, I only dated men younger than me.
39. My current husband is 6 years younger than me.
40. I wish we lived in a house so that Newman, my dog, had a yard to play in.
41. I also wish Teagan had a yard to play in.
42. When we first moved back from Germany, my friend and I would take my girls all over to different playgrounds.
43. When we lived in Germany, that same friend and I would go play with the neighborhood kids all the time.
44. I love having scented candles, scented oils, or incense burning in my house.
45. My first marriage lasted 10 years, he moved out 1 month after our 10th anniversary.
46. I would love to have a Monday through Friday day job again.
47. I have had 2 miscarriages, the last one almost killed me.
48. I have a hard time talking about myself.
49. My husband and I had our first threesome with another woman last week.
50. I have been dying my hair since I was 17.
51. If we could afford it, I would love to be a stay at home mom/wife.
52. I love to cook, but don't do it as often as I'd like.
53. I also enjoy baking cookies and cakes, but since I married Dustin, he's the baker in the family.
54. Dustin proposed to me 3 times, the first time we hadn't even met face-to-face yet.
55. I love having pets. They're a huge part of our family.
56. The age difference between my middle and youngest daughters is 11 1/2 years.
57. My youngest daughter is basically an only child.
58. I will not have any more children.
59. I hate carpet. I would rather have tile or hardwood floors in my house.
60. In the summer, I hate having socks or tennis shoes on my feet.
61. One of the reasons I wanted my dog so much is because he looked just like an Ewok when he was little.
62. I have had a very high metabolism most of my life, and have only recently had to start watching what I eat.
63. I enjoy watching some reality TV shows, but not all.
64. I love watching "The Biggest Loser" to see the physical and mental changes these people go through. I find it inspiring.
65. My favorite time of the year is summer.
66. I hate being cold, and am actually a really big baby when it comes to cold weather.
67. Dustin and I didn't live together (or even in the same state) until we had been married for a month.
68. My mom wasn't invited to either of my weddings.
69. I never had the wedding with the dress and reception, but it's something I've always wanted.
70. I didn't tell Dustin that our first child was a boy until almost 2 years after we lost him.
71. I enjoy going to the mall just to walk around, and I don't have to buy something every time I go there.
72. My youngest daughter is a shopper as well, and has been going to the mall regularly since she was 4 days old.
73. The first time we took Teagan to the mall, someone asked us if she was a real baby.
74. My middle daughter and my youngest daughter were the same height and weight at birth.
75. I had natural childbirth with Teagan, not by choice.
76. I have no sympathy for women who are pregnant. I literally worked up until I had my youngest. (Got off work at 6:30, she was born at 10:30.)
77. I have never met my brother-in-law, and sometimes even forget I have one.
78. I haven't seen my brother in 5 years, and I don't know when I'll see him again.
79. I am the only one in the family that still has contact with my brother, by his choice.
80. I was a tall child, usually one of the tallest girls in class until high school.
81. I have brown hair, light brown eyes, and pale skin.
82. Because of my skin coloring, I can get away with very dark hair or any shade of red. I'm lucky like that.
83. I have lived in Colorado, Florida, California, Texas, and Germany.
84. I would like to move back to Germany some day.
85. I would like to move to Washington in the near future so that Teagan can be closer to Dustin's family.
86. My two oldest daughters live with their dad.
87. I'm never afraid to answer people's questions, no matter how personal they are.
88. I am surprisingly shy in certain situations.
89. I have a hard time standing up for myself.
90. The only live birth I've ever seen was my middle daughter's on video.
91. My dad and step-mom came to the hospital when I had all three of my daughters and my last miscarriage.
92. I am not a religious person, but I do believe there is some kind of higher power out there.
93. I believe in kharma.
94. I think my oldest daughter is the only one of my children that looks like me. The other 2 look more like their dad.
95. My youngest daughter has blonde hair and blue eyes, Dustin has dark brown hair and green eyes, I have brown hair and brown eyes.
96. I am much closer with my mother-in-law than I am with my own mom.
97. I love to workout with my husband, but haven't been able to since my oldest daughter moved out.
98. I used to own Siberian Huskies when we lived in Texas, and one year for Christmas, we had 7 puppies.
99. I still have a bit of teenage rebel in me, I hate being told what to do, and will often times do the opposite, just because.
100. Since starting my blog, I've remembered just how much I love to write.

Today was a good day

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In My Dreams

For the last 6 months or so, Dustin and I have been talking about having a threesome with another woman. (You can find his blog here) We have a friend, N, that has expressed an interest in being a part of it. This all started by me sending a text message to her last summer saying that I would just love to fuck her, that I have very little experience with women, but I wouldn't mind learning from her, or just being with her once. We traded messages back and forth, and even sent a few pictures to each other. It was very exciting, and definitely a huge boost to mine and Dustin's sex. I was so horny the first day N and I talked about hooking up, even after masturbating 3 times, that I pulled Dustin into the bedroom as soon as he got home and gave him head until he came. He had no idea where it came from (not that he complained at all), and said so. That was when I told him about the conversation between N and I, and I showed him the pictures we had shared with each other. I think his cock stayed hard for the next 2 or three days. He was surprised, but incredibly turned on. N and I had set a tentative date to get together. It ended up not happening then because she had some things come up, and I ended up having to take an emergency trip to the hospital and have surgery. That put me out of commission for about 6 weeks, and we stopped talking about it so much for awhile.

Then the holidays came around, and the new year. We would send little texts back and forth seeing how the other was doing, letting each other know that we're still interested, and that we'll work something out as soon as our schedules permit. It was something that was always in the back of my mind. I would think about it here and there, but it wasn't something that any of us were pushing for.

One day, N and I were texting again and we started talking about how I felt about things. I told her about what had happened with the threesomes I'd tried to have before, and how I felt afterwards. I wanted to be completely honest with her because I wanted all of us to be able to enjoy it. I told her I didn't know how I was going to react to seeing my husband fuck another woman. (Yes, I have told Dustin this, too.) I don't feel like I'm a jealous person, but I do get very territorial, and I can't help it. N completely understands, and told me that, if it made me feel better, it would just be her and I fucking, and he could watch. (Still a huge turn on for Dustin and I.) She also said that, while she's attracted to both of us, she doesn't want to ruin the friendship or any of our relationships over sex, so whatever I was comfortable with is what would happen.

Hearing that just made me even more turned on, and want her even more. This last week or so, N and I have been texting quite a bit again. I mentioned to her that I've been thinking about her, and I would really like to get together with her soon. To my surprise, she said she may be able to come hang out Thursday (tomorrow). I was very excited, and shared that with Dustin as I was going to bed. It clearly had the intended effect on him, because when he came to bed, he attacked me, and I was cumming from the second he touched me.

As I was leaving work yesterday, I just happened to run into N on my way out. It was a huge coincidence, but turned me on even more. We hugged, and talked again about her coming over. She said it looked like an even bigger possibility, and that she would let me know as soon as she knew for sure, one way or another. I texted Dustin to let him know, and to also tell him that he would be getting fucked that night. When I got home, we put the little one down for a little bit, I pulled his pants down, and began to give him an amazing blow job. (Side note: Seriously, I've never enjoyed sucking cock before, but there's just something about Dustin's cock...it's the perfect size for me to deep throat, and to play with it with my mouth, I absolutely LOVE his cock!!!)

I ended up going to bed early because I had worked a very long day at work and I physically just couldn't stay awake any longer, even though I tried. I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. It didn't feel like I had been asleep for very long, but I started to have sexy dreams. I'm not one to remember very much about my dreams, as a matter of fact, I rarely dream. But last night, I had some amazing dreams, and I remember parts of them. The one I remember the most, the one I was having when I woke up this morning, was so fucking hot I woke up with my hand down my panties. Here is what I remember:

N and I had gone for a walk because she wanted something to drink. Dustin and I are Straight Edge, so we don't have any alcohol in the house, and that's what she wanted. We were cutting through the parking lot of the abandoned bowling alley behind our apartments, and I pushed her up against one of the walls of the building. I pushed my body in to hers, stared deep into her eyes and started running my hands up and down her body as I began to kiss her, softly at first. When I felt her responding to my touch and my kiss, it got deeper. I kept her pinned against the wall, and started rubbing her breasts underneath her shirt. They were soft, and I could feel her nipples getting hard at my touch. She was running her hands all over me as well. She was grabbing my ass and pulling my hips into her. We made out like this for what felt like hours, and then we broke away from each other and walked back to our apartment. We came walking back in with silly grins on our faces. Dustin turned to look at us, and immediately knew what had happened. She and I went into the kitchen to put the things away from the store, and this time, she pushed me up against the refrigerator and started kissing me, hard. Where Dustin was sitting on the couch, he could clearly see what she was doing to me, and my reaction to it. She shoved her hand down my pants, and I immediately began moaning. She took a step back, I grabbed her, and led her to our room, telling Dustin to follow so he could watch what was about to happen.

Sadly, this is where I woke up. I know the real thing will be just as amazing, if not more so. I'm just hoping it happens soon!!!

I Want More!!!!

I haven't posted a blog in awhile. It's not that I haven't had anything to write about, life has just gotten in the way a bit. (You know, new job, kid leaving home, getting sick, the usual.) So I asked Dustin last night what my next blog should be about. (You can find his blog here.) He told me to write about my experience with a woman. While it's been quite some time, I will do my best to write about it.

It all began with my first husband wanting a threesome with another woman, or even group sex. It was not a happy marriage for a very long time, and I got tired of hearing him always run his mouth, so I got to the point where I'd do anything he wanted just to shut him up. I don't recommend anyone doing this in a relationship ever because it sucks. When he brought up a threesome with another woman, I was even more apprehensive than I thought I would be, for all different reasons. I don't think I'm a jealous person, but that also doesn't mean I'm stupid. I know when the man I'm with is just trying to get away with fucking another woman, and not in it for all of our pleasure. Every situation that involved another woman with my Ex was that kind of situation. How do I know this? Because he had already fucked the first woman he wanted to have a threesome with, his best friend's wife (without telling me until about 2 years later). Anyways, I was game, and thought it could be fun. I put down some ground rules, and we all agreed to see what would happen.
She came over, with the intent that she and I would start to fool around, and he would join in later. That's kind of what happened, except that she wasn't too interested in me. I chalked it up to both of us being nervous, and ignored the bells and whistles that were going off in my brain. She and I went to our room, stripped down to our panties, and started kissing. That's as far as the two of us got before the Ex couldn't wait any longer and came in the room. He told us to ignore him, but again, she was more interested in him. So, he joined in, and, of course, started fucking her first and ignored me. Now, I'm not trying to sound like a whiny little bitch here, but I was pretty fucked up in the head to begin with back then, and this sent me over the edge. I ran into the bathroom, crying. They obviously kept going for a bit before they noticed I was gone, because it took a few minutes before anyone came to check on me. That was my very first experience with a woman. Not great at all, but she could definitely kiss, and I was definitely curious about what being with a woman would be like.

About a year or so later, I mentioned something along this line to the Ex. Of course, I should have known better, but I thought I could share things with him, that he had learned his lesson. Anyways, we ended up setting something up on the internet. (This was 10 years ago, and my first experiences with the internet, so there weren't many places that I knew of to go.) I don't remember now where we placed ads, but we got some responses. We got a response from a couple that happened to live close by, so close, in fact, that their son was in class with one of our daughters. Small world, I know! This made me feel a bit more at ease, and I was able to talk to both of them easier. Even though I didn't know what either of them really looked like, I found myself getting very aroused talking to them, and even began to fantasize about fucking them. I was honest with both of them, and told them about our first experience with another woman and that I was very apprehensive about trying it again. She assured me that if I didn't want the men to join in, it would just be the two of us and they would just watch. This, of course, turned me on even more. We decided we were going to do this, but never really set up a date that would work for all of us.

And then came September 11th. Yes, THAT September 11th. We had just put our girls on the bus for school, and had turned on MTV. He called and asked if we were watching the news, and told me what happened. I thought he was joking because he had a sick sense of humor like that. I turned on the news, NBC, and just sat there in shock and horror. My Ex was in the military at this time, and we were stationed at Ft. Hood, TX. We didn't know what was going on, and we were scared. We decided to head over to our friend's house (since we couldn't get off base anyways) and watch what was going on together. This was the first time we all met in person. When we heard for sure that the base was closed, I called in to work. There was no way I'd make it anyways. The girl and I started talking (I'll call her Red, because I remember her having red hair), and we decided that fooling around could be a lot of fun right now. I think we said something to the guys, and made our way back to the bedroom.

I had previously told her that I had no experience with women, other than that nightmare, and I was extremely nervous. She just smiled and told me not to worry. If I wasn't comfortable doing things to her, she would do everything to me. She also assured me that the men would not come in unless we asked them to. This definitely put me more at ease. We laid down on the bed and started making out. She wasn't the best kisser, but I could let it go. She started to bring out some toys, and eventually stripped us both naked. I don't even remember if I was running my hands along her body or not, but I do know that she was definitely making me wet. She was licking my pussy in a way that no man ever had before. I was squirming and writhing in pleasure, and loving every second of it. And then, she brought out the double ended dildo. Things just went downhill from there. The Ex heard me, and wanted to see what was making me feel so good. She started to either show off, or the newness had worn off and it just didn't feel as good, I don't know what it was, but I got out of the mood very quickly. We ended up all fucking in the same bed (couple on couple) and ended up leaving a short time after that.

So there you have it, my extent of experience with women. Would I like to try again? Of course. I know all women can't be bad in bed, and I'm hoping the third time will be the charm. Why do I want to be with another woman? Ummm, hello? Have you ever looked at a naked woman? Women have beautiful bodies. I love the different curves of each section of a woman's body. I want to see what it's like to just be with a woman, and maybe have Dustin walk in on us. I know he loves to think about it too, and that alone makes me want it more. See, I enjoy doing things Dustin wants, and things that make him feel good. As a matter of fact, I love pleasing him almost more than I enjoy being pleased. That's why I know my next experience with a woman will be very different. Yes, we do have someone in mind, but volunteers are always welcome! ;)

Also, please feel free to leave any kind of feedback of things you think could help me relax or get more in the mood.

What turns me on?

This is something that I've been thinking about a lot today, and I'm not sure why. I am a very physical person, in bed and out. For most of my life, I have had a job where I have to be on my feet for 8 hours or more. I have had to lift heavy boxes, and have never expected special treatment because I'm a woman. I enjoy being physical. It makes me feel alive, purposeful, needed. I have had to be a strong person for as long as I can remember, whether that was taking care of my brother when we were home alone and mom was at the bar, or it was keeping a stoic expression during my divorce so my girls wouldn't see me cry. Being emotionally strong has become second nature for me. It also means I push a lot of people away for a lot of stupid reasons. I seem to have a couple of close friends here and there, but no one sticks around for more than a year or two. I'm not complaining, it is what it is. Being strong for others has meant that I don't always put my own best interests at heart. It's much easier for me to point out others flaws rather than work on my own.

Since I am so physical and strong outside of the bedroom, it makes sense, to me, that I would be a submissive in bed. It's my one chance to not be in control of anything and to just do exactly as I am told. I have my moments where I enjoy being in control, but for the most part, I don't. So much of my enjoyment of sex is mental. If you can fuck my mind, you can make me cum like crazy. Part of fucking my mind is complimenting me, making me feel good about myself. I've had self-esteem issues my whole life (really, who doesn't?), but I have gotten better as I have gotten older. It is always nice to hear someone say that you're pretty, it's even better to hear you're beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, etc.

Don't be afraid to touch me or make the first move. Some of my most memorable sex scenes stem from him making the first move. This can be anything as simple as just kissing me on my neck. That's a great way to get me going, actually, but don't stop there, keep going. To me, there is absolutely nothing sexier than a man that will take his time getting me going. So many men have said that they're not fully satisfied unless the woman they're with is satisfied, but yet, they have done nothing, or very little, to ensure her satisfaction. Do I need someone to go down on me every time? No, but it is very nice when it does happen, and that makes me want it more. Does that mean that you have to do everything in your power to not cum until I do? Again, not necessarily. Even if you cum and go soft, there are other things you can do to get me off, and it probably wouldn't take me that long either. I will say this though, I generally do not enjoy direct clit stimulation. My clit is very sensitive, and direct stimulation can sometimes hurt, a lot. Don't be afraid to explore my body with your hands, lips, teeth, tongue. I react differently to different pressures and different touches, try being gentle, and try it rough. I am definitely not afraid of exploration. (If you have any question about that, read some of my earlier posts, or check out my husband's blog at Life According to the Bathroom Wall)

I guess the fastest way to turn me on is to make the first move, and stay in control the entire time.

Pegging, Part 2

I have discussed pegging in another blog, however, that was just with a glass dildo. After we tried that out, and decided it was something we both liked doing, we decided to order a strap-on for some fun. This won't be used only on Dustin, it could be used in three somes, as well as by Dustin himself. It's a hollow strap on that we ordered online from Adam & Eve. They have a great selection of products, and their customer service is outstanding! Anyways, we got our toy in the mail last Friday, and we were both very excited to test it out, but we had to wait a couple of days because one of my older daughters was visiting for the weekend.

 I do have to say that it killed me to not try out the toy the second we got it. It's a big, purple penis, who wouldn't want to play with it?! Finally, Sunday night came, and we could do whatever we wanted. We put the little one to bed a little early, and just started to enjoy our night together. As soon as I put her to bed, I took my pants off, and Dustin quickly followed suit. I had put on a black thong that morning, knowing it's one of his favorites, and now, it's clear that wearing it was a good idea. I tell him to go get the strap-on, that I wanted to look at it. (Up until this point, I hadn't even taken it out of the box because of the kids always being around.) So he brought it out with a couple of other little toys. I took it out, and really looked at it, I even put it on to see how it felt. I will say, I don't know that I would be able to walk around with a penis in my pants all day, but that's just me.

After my inspection of our new treasure, I took off my shirt and asked Dustin to start kissing and lightly kissing my back, which he did, no problem. I don't remember what lead to it, but the next thing I remember, he begins to play with me with one of our little vibrators that we hadn't used yet. (I have one vibrator that, if we weren't having great sex regularly, it would be my best friend) This particular toy has a couple of different tips on it, and we used every single one. He also grabbed another product we got as a free gift with our order that is supposed to make the clit more sensitive, along with another small vibe. The combination of these 3 things together caused me to have an explosive orgasm, the likes of which I don't think I have EVER experienced before, but really hope to have again!

Now that I had been taken care of, it was finally time for the new toy to get broken in. I had to start with giving him head. I love to shove his cock as far down my throat as I possibly can. I love the taste, I love the feel, I love his cock. I got into the strap on again, and it felt a bit awkward, especially when I sat on the bed and it was resting on my thighs, but it was also very sexy and liberating at the same time. I felt like I was about to be in control for a little bit. I asked him which position he thought he would be most comfortable in, and he chose to lay flat on his stomach. I lubed up, and was ready to start. I'll be honest, it was not what I expected as far as me doing the thrusting. I'm sure I will get used to it, and get better at it with some more practice. Dustin was uncomfortable at first as well. I think I may have shoved it too far in, too fast and it hurt to begin with. I pulled out, and gently tried again. This time, the Anal Ease had kicked in, so it didn't hurt as much this time, and Dustin immediately seemed to enjoy it. I wish I could have gotten a rhythm down, and had been able to keep it in, because he was close to cumming. Unfortunately, I had no perception of how long my cock was (since I have no feeling in it), so it was difficult to keep it in. I loved hearing him moan, and his fast breathing, I knew from this that, when I had it in, I was hitting the right spot. I wanted to keep going, but I got selfish, and frustrated, and stopped. This is definitely something I'm going to need some practice at, and I'm okay with that.

Once I stopped, though, Sir came out, and I was punished for stopping. He fucked me good and hard, and did get us both off, but not without a beating. I think this was definitely a great experience, and something I will enjoying doing again and again. Now, I just wonder when he's going to fuck me in the ass again? Hmmmm......

Double Penetration

Double penetration is an idea I have toyed with for some time now, but have been too afraid to try with someone else. I have done the butt plug-vibrator combination on my own, and have enjoyed it VERY much. I've often worried if Dustin and I try it, it will hurt, or I won't like it.

Last night, we started playing around when we went to bed. My oldest daughter moved out last weekend, and since then, Dustin has been walking around the house in just his underwear at night. I love to look at his body, at any time of the day, so this has been a very nice perk from an otherwise depressing situation. Since she is gone, I am also able to be a bit more vocal during sex, which has also been wonderful. I am a screamer, and having kids has really put a damper on that. Waking them up in the middle of the night is a bit embarrassing.

When we went to bed, we started kissing, and touching and rubbing all over each other. I asked him to kiss and scratch my back, he agreed on the condition that I suck his cock. Of course I said yes, how could I not?! I started to get up to pleasure him, but he told me to get on my stomach, he was going to do my back first. I was a bit confused because I thought he would want to fuck me from behind, but he had other ideas, which I was all for.

Kissing and lightly scratching my back are two huge turn ons for me. The second I felt his lips on my back, I was dripping wet already. I instantly started craving his touch, but I was enjoying everything he was doing to me. Dustin is great at sexual timing. He knows exactly what I need in each moment. (If you're reading my blog, you should be reading his as well. Here's the link: Life According to the Bathroom Wall ) I will sometimes beg for more, but he gives me exactly what I need, when I need it. He kissed my back for awhile, and then he was done. We were talking the entire time, and when he rolled on to his side, he said something that made me jump on top of him. I started kissing him, hard, deep, passionately. I wanted him, and I wanted him badly.

I kissed his neck, shoulders, chest, arms, and finally made it to his gorgeous cock. I love to tease his cock with my tongue before I shove it all the way down my throat. I know he enjoys it, too. I love feeling his hands on the back of my head, curling his fingers up in my hair, and shoving his cock down my throat until I gag. Every time I gag, he lets out such a happy moan that makes me want to do it even more. I love to feel his cock get harder inside my mouth. I even love it when he cums down my throat. I love everything about giving him head.

I was so turned on at this point, I couldn't wait any longer. He climbed on top of me, spread my legs as far apart as he could, and shoved his hard cock inside of me. I was moaning and groaning instantly. His cock was hitting me in just the right spots. He was sucking on my toes, thrusting hard inside of me. It had me so turned on that I wanted to roll onto my side so he could get even farther inside of me. Once I was on my side, he started to play with my ass, just a little, but damn it felt incredible. I told him to shove his finger inside of me, which he did, and I came immediately, but it wasn't enough. I was grinding my hips into him as hard and as fast as I could, I don't even think I was doing it intentionally, instinct took over. I still wanted more, even though I was already screaming, moaning, grunting, I wanted more. I wanted his cock to keep fucking my pussy, and I wanted his finger to keep fucking my ass. I wanted it all, and I didn't want it to stop. He shoved his finger farther in my ass, and fucked me good and hard until we both came together.

After this little experience with double penetration, I can't wait to do it again! I'm just wondering when it will happen again......

I Realize

In writing this blog, I've come to a couple of realizations:

1.) I am far from what I used to consider normal.
2.) I have no problem expressing what I want in bed.
3.) I have one serious sexual appetite.

You may ask what I used to consider normal, and that's a fair question. For a very long time, normal to me was plain old missionary, sometimes cowgirl, penis in vagina sex. I know, not a very eloquent way to put it, but really, that's all it was to me. Spank me here and there, dig your nails in if it feels good, blah blah, boring, yawn, wake me up when it's over sex. I guess this is where I should do some explaining. I got married literally right out of high school (2 weeks exactly after graduation). I had only been with 3 men, including him, up to that point. I was young, thought I was in love, and didn't really have a clue as to what real life was about, but I was about to learn. Not long after we were married we started talking about fantasies. At that time, I had wondered what it was like to have a MMF threesome, and told him so. Within the next 2 weeks to a month (if it was even that long), he brought a friend over and said that we were going to do it. It was not a turn on, in any way, and I didn't have any fun with it. For some reason, though, he brought a few more guys home throughout the next few years for the same reasons. Each time I had no warning, and each time I had no choice. It got to the point where sex just wasn't fun or enjoyable for me any more. It got even worse when I found out he cheated on me with his best friend's wife.

At one point, I had a really good friend, I'll call him E. We were able to talk about everything, and I mean everything. He was a fun guy to be around, and he always had a way of putting a smile on my face. We ended up sleeping together, and it was amazing. It was honestly the best sex I had ever had in my life, up until that point. He taught me a lot of things about myself, but the biggest thing he taught me is that sex is a good thing. It's not something to be embarrassed about, or to be ashamed of.

Once I accepted that sex wasn't dirty, per se, I was free to enjoy it, and boy did I! Now, there were a couple of guys that I was with that were okay, not awful but not earth shakingly good either, but there wasn't anything about our sex life that I needed. Sex was something that was still just there. And then I met Dustin.

When you're in a long distance relationship, you have to have great communication skills. Talking on the phone for hours every night, emails and text messages throughout the day, it was almost like we were always around each other, except we hadn't even met in person yet. I know, every one thought I was completely crazy at the time, but it was perfect. We would have phone sex on a pretty regular basis, and that was hot as hell. When we were actually together, just him touching me was almost enough to make me cum. (BTW-yes, he still has that affect on me four years later, and I love it!)

I have always enjoyed my sex life with Dustin. I have always felt that we feed off each others energy, and know exactly how to please the other, without saying a word. I love telling him what I want him to do to me, and what I want to do to him. I especially love telling him these things via text when he's at work. I will play it out in my mind first. I think about what I want to send him, and I imagine what his reaction will be to reading it. I imagine that, if I word it correctly, he will be hard as a rock when he reads it, and that gets me so incredibly hot. Most of the time, I will have to go masturbate just to get through the day. I love that I have a partner that I can fantasize about, tell him about it, and then actually enjoy acting it out. Most of the time, my fantasies begin with me pulling his pants down around his ankles as soon as he walks in the door and just start sucking his cock. I have never really enjoyed sucking cock until being with Dustin. I absolutely love shoving his cock down my throat, and will do it just about every time fuck. I love the feeling of it in my hands and mouth. I love feeling him throbbing at my touch. I love the way his body moves in reaction to what I'm doing. I especially love the nights I completely suck him off and he shoots his hot cum in my mouth. I love the taste of it.

I have realized I am one of those women that would love to have sex every single day. (Except for that time of the month....and in that case, I'd still be okay with 1 time that week.) I have also decided that a lot of this has come from being more open about sex, but also from getting older. Who am I kidding? I'm in the Dirty Thirties, and it's been fun so far. I get what I want in bed, whether that is his pleasure or mine, it all makes me happy.



I'll write another blog soon. We're expecting a toy in the mail, and I can't wait to try it out! For anyone reading this, sorry it's kind of rambling. I just wanted to get these thoughts out. Feel free to leave comments, questions or suggestions here for me.

What I Need Right Now

I have not quite been feeling like myself in bed lately. I'm having a harder time getting turned on, and an even harder time really getting off. I don't think it's because we're doing anything different, in fact, we're doing everything that usually turns me on. So what is going on with me? Here are a few of my theories, and let me say, this is just what I'm thinking, I'm not saying anyone is doing anything wrong:

1. I'm a fucking temperamental woman.

As much as I hate to admit that, it's true. I'm a woman, I have too damn many hormones racing through my body on any given day, and I have mood swings. Look at me funny, and I just might cry. I'm not as tough as I may seem. Factor in a ticking biological clock that I would much rather smash up against a wall, and there you go.

2. I need more than to just be fucked. 

This goes along with me being temperamental. Now, don't get me wrong, I love a nice hard fuck as much as the next guy, but sometimes, I need the emotions that go along with it. I sometimes need the emotional aspect more than just the fuck. I need the cuddling, I need the holding. I hate going to bed by myself more often than not. We have a huge bed (California King), so we can each spread out and never touch each other. At first, I loved it, now I'm not liking it so much. I like the closeness and the feeling of protection that comes with that.

3. Stressed out.

I was out of work for 3 weeks. When you have a family to support, being out of work is scary, and stressful, as hell. I start my new job tomorrow, but it's only part time. Yes, something is better than nothing, but I'm still a bit worried that it's going to be really damn hard trying to make ends meet.

4. Fantasies are getting overwhelming.

There has been talk about us having a threesome. The girl is particularly into me, and has told me this on several occasions. Hot as hell, right? Yeah, I think so, too. Here's my problem with this. I'm starting to feel like, whenever this finally does happen (if it happens), we will have talked it to death, and the fantasy will have been so much better than the reality. I've been through that before, and it's not fun. As a matter of fact, it's a huge let down, and it makes me shut down. I'm starting to think the threesome with this girl won't happen, just because every time we start to talk about it and try to set something up, she falls off the face of the planet.

I think this last one is really part of what's going on with me at the moment. Once again, the talk of a threesome has come up, and once again, Dustin is so excited about it that he wants sex every night. But is it me he wants, or just the sex? I mean, I know he wants me, but everything ends up talking about the threesome. I will say, the last couple of nights, it hasn't been like that, and it's been great! Now don't get me wrong, talking about it every now and then is a lot of fun too, but I just don't like, and mentally can't, think about it or talk about it all the time. It just doesn't work for me. If I attempt to talk about it all the time, I'm not going to want it to happen. I know this from past experience. My first husband actually talked me into several threesomes that I wasn't comfortable with, one of which was with another woman (his best friends wife, the same woman I would later find out he cheated on me with). I was very uncomfortable, and when they started fucking, I ran out of the room. He came to find me several minutes later, after I had locked myself in the bathroom and was already a sniveling mess. Needless to say, it wasn't a great experience, and it's not something I'd like to repeat. I'm scared of having a threesome with another woman. I'm afraid that my husband will be more attracted to her, or she'll make him feel better, or whatever. I'm afraid of being too emotional, and freaking out again.

So what do I need right now? I need to feel the love. I need to fall asleep in his arms. I need to make love, and not just fuck all the time. I need to focus on us, and no one else, for a few nights. I guess I'm just wanting to feel a bit spoiled. I would like to hear that I look sexy, hell, even hearing that I look pretty would be nice. I don't know. I guess I'm just rambling now, so I'll end it.

 

Pegging

Last night was a great night. We didn't have anything planned, we were just relaxing and enjoying the night. We were both horny as hell and had planned on playing some once the girls went to bed, but I wanted to take it a step further. 

There are a lot of things I have said I would never do or try, or that I just flat out wasn't interested in. One of those things was any kind of anal play. I thought it was gross, I mean, it's your ass! It's for exit only, how could anyone get any kind of pleasure out of it? I didn't understand and was very closed off to it. I was young and conservative, and not that adventurous. I would learn....boy, would I learn.

Fast forward to the first guy I dated after my first husband and I split. Greg was not my typical type. He was a tad overweight, a total geek (because there is a difference between nerds and geeks!), but he paid attention to me. He was my boss at my second job, and that made fucking him that much more exciting. For as reserved as he was, there were things he wanted to try that, at the time, I didn't really want any part of. He really wanted to engage in water sports, and I was NOT into that at all. He approached the subject of anal a couple of times, but I usually brushed him off and quickly changed the subject. One night, after a few beers and a few shots (I was still drinking at this time, among other things), he brought it up again. This time, I figured, what the hell. He told me that if I didn't like it, or it hurt too much, he would never ask me for it again. So we went for it. Anyone that has ever had anal sex knows that you need lube, and lots of it. Things like Anal Eaze help a lot because it has something in it to desensitize you, making the entry not as painful. Well, I don't think Greg took any of this into account, and I sure as hell didn't think about it, so we went at it with nothing. Thankfully, he had a smaller penis, but it still hurt. Telling him it hurt, seeing me tense up, didn't matter. He just wanted to finish. When he was done, I told him that would never be happening again.

Fast forward about another year, and I'm with Dustin. He's asking me if I'm interested in trying it again. I'll be honest, I wasn't completely opposed to trying it with him, but it was going to take a little while for me to be really excited about it. He was okay with that, and never pressured me about it. We would talk seriously, or dirty, or during phone sex, and when I was finally comfortable with the thought, and actually interested in trying it, I told him. I can't honestly tell you how long into our relationship it was before he actually fucked me in the ass, but I will say that it has been somewhat of a staple in our bedroom. 

I started thinking that since I enjoyed him fucking me in the ass, I wondered if he would. When giving him head, I started to play with his ass a little to see what kind of reaction I would get. I got a very positive reaction, so eventually, I would play a little more. I would use my tongue, finger, my little squishy vibrating butt plug once or twice. He seemed to enjoy it all. 

One night, I had him on his stomach so I could kiss his back. I started thrusting my hips into his ass, and heard a very happy moan. At that moment, I wanted to just put on a strap-on and fuck him long and hard. Unfortunately, we don't have a strap-on, so I couldn't do it. I do, however, have a glass toy that is made for anal play. I got it out, and started teasing him with it. Hearing him moan, watching his hips buck, seeing his hand go straight for his hard cock, I knew I was on to something.

Back to last night. I told him that I wanted to fuck him in the ass with that toy. He instantly got hard, and I loved it. We started playing on the couch. I was stroking him, making sure his gorgeous cock was nice and hard, and then I begged him to lick me. I wasn't begging enough, because as he got up, he slapped me, and told me to beg him more. Of course, I obliged, and he began to kiss and lick me all over. God was it good. The way he looked up at me while he was licking my pussy and teasing my ass was so hot! He made me cum a couple of times, and then it was his turn.

I lead him to the bedroom, climbed up on the bed, and immediately started licking his cock. I have never enjoyed giving a man head as much as I do with him. I've had enough practice with him that I'm finally able to deep throat, and I was doing as much of that as I could last night. I wanted him nice and hard and ready for me. I made him roll over on to his side and spread his legs. I was enjoying being in charge and telling him what to do. I immediately grabbed the toy, used the lube, and started to shove it in. I went slow at first because I didn't want to hurt him. The immediate, intense moan coming from him told me I was doing a good job. I can't describe the intense feelings that came over me as I was fucking him in the ass, but I know I want to get a strap-on to be able to do a better job of it. As I had the toy in one hand, I grabbed his cock with the other and began stroking. He turned a little and asked me if I was trying to make him cum, because he was close. I decided to stop, for now, and have him use me. 

That's when he went into Daddy mode, making sure I was enjoying his cock and getting off. But just as I was about to cum, Sir came out and demanded that I hold it in. He flipped me onto my stomach, shoved his cock back in me, and began to fuck me hard, mean, and started spanking me. The pain from the spanking made me want to cum even more, but I was still denied. It wasn't until after he came that I was allowed to cum with him rubbing on my clit. We were both completely spent and satisfied. I asked him if he was okay with everything. He turned to me, smiled, and said that I could fuck him in the ass anytime. 

Anyone that's reading, what are your feelings about pegging? Is it something you're willing to try, or is it a hard limit for you? I'm curious to see what others have to say about this subject.