100 things about me.

Okay, okay, okay. I know I'm a bit late in getting to this, but better late then never, right? I don't know if I'll be able to do the full 100, but I will do my best. So, here we go!

1. I have moved around, a lot. I used to change schools frequently.
2. I went to 3 elementary schools, 2 middle schools, and 3 high schools. (Not including being homeschooled for the end of my sophmore year because I had mono.)
3. When we moved to Colorado Springs, I was sick almost constantly for the first year we were there.
4. All of my daughters are named after family members.
5. I have had self-esteem issues most of my life.
6. I stayed in an abusive marriage because I thought that was what I deserved, and I thought I couldn't raise my kids on my own.
7. I met my husband online, and fell deeply in love with him before ever meeting him face to face.
8. The longest I have lived in one home since I moved out of my parents house is 2 1/2 years.
9. I have had a variety of jobs in my life. I've been a lunch lady, a manager at McDonald's, and a telemarketer.
10. While I have taken a few college classes, I never got my degree.
11. I miss my kitty Herman and my dog Cleo.
12. I lived in Germany for 3 years and loved it so much I didn't want to come back to the U.S.
13. <-------That is my lucky/favorite number.
14. I love Friday the 13th.
15. My favorite meal as a kid was my grandmother's roast beef, potatoes and carrots.
16. Sadly, I don't remember anything about that grandmother from before her Alzheimer's got really bad.
17. My extended family is spread out all across the country, and I don't really see any of them.
18. It doesn't upset me too much because I've never really been that close with any of them.
19. At the moment, I have 3 complete tattoos, and am working on my 4th, and largest.
20. I lost my virginity at 16 to a man I thought I would end up marrying.
21. I never saw him again after that.
22. The first time I got pregnant, I was 18.
23. The last time I got pregnant, I was 33.
24. I have 1 sibling, a younger brother.
25. We are only 11 months apart, and are the same age for a month.
26. My mother lives an hour away, and has only seen my youngest daughter 3 times in the last 2 years.
27. My dad and step-mom are usually my babysitters now.
28. I have been with a woman before, but I wasn't attracted to her (more the thought of being with another woman), and was so incredibly nervous that I didn't enjoy it as much as I could have.
29. My ex husband set up several threesomes for us (MMF) without telling me, and then would guilt me into going along with it.
30. Of all the men I've been with, only 2 have been able to make me cum through oral and penetration.
31. Of all the men I've been with, only 1 has left me absolutely breathless after sex.
32. I've only ever really enjoyed giving one man head.
33. I've enjoyed it so much, that I almost make myself cum just from doing it sometimes.
34. <-----This is how old I am right now.
35. I'm not afraid to tell people my age.
36. No one believes me anyways. They all think I'm younger.
37. My first husband is 5 years older than me.
38. Once we divorced, I only dated men younger than me.
39. My current husband is 6 years younger than me.
40. I wish we lived in a house so that Newman, my dog, had a yard to play in.
41. I also wish Teagan had a yard to play in.
42. When we first moved back from Germany, my friend and I would take my girls all over to different playgrounds.
43. When we lived in Germany, that same friend and I would go play with the neighborhood kids all the time.
44. I love having scented candles, scented oils, or incense burning in my house.
45. My first marriage lasted 10 years, he moved out 1 month after our 10th anniversary.
46. I would love to have a Monday through Friday day job again.
47. I have had 2 miscarriages, the last one almost killed me.
48. I have a hard time talking about myself.
49. My husband and I had our first threesome with another woman last week.
50. I have been dying my hair since I was 17.
51. If we could afford it, I would love to be a stay at home mom/wife.
52. I love to cook, but don't do it as often as I'd like.
53. I also enjoy baking cookies and cakes, but since I married Dustin, he's the baker in the family.
54. Dustin proposed to me 3 times, the first time we hadn't even met face-to-face yet.
55. I love having pets. They're a huge part of our family.
56. The age difference between my middle and youngest daughters is 11 1/2 years.
57. My youngest daughter is basically an only child.
58. I will not have any more children.
59. I hate carpet. I would rather have tile or hardwood floors in my house.
60. In the summer, I hate having socks or tennis shoes on my feet.
61. One of the reasons I wanted my dog so much is because he looked just like an Ewok when he was little.
62. I have had a very high metabolism most of my life, and have only recently had to start watching what I eat.
63. I enjoy watching some reality TV shows, but not all.
64. I love watching "The Biggest Loser" to see the physical and mental changes these people go through. I find it inspiring.
65. My favorite time of the year is summer.
66. I hate being cold, and am actually a really big baby when it comes to cold weather.
67. Dustin and I didn't live together (or even in the same state) until we had been married for a month.
68. My mom wasn't invited to either of my weddings.
69. I never had the wedding with the dress and reception, but it's something I've always wanted.
70. I didn't tell Dustin that our first child was a boy until almost 2 years after we lost him.
71. I enjoy going to the mall just to walk around, and I don't have to buy something every time I go there.
72. My youngest daughter is a shopper as well, and has been going to the mall regularly since she was 4 days old.
73. The first time we took Teagan to the mall, someone asked us if she was a real baby.
74. My middle daughter and my youngest daughter were the same height and weight at birth.
75. I had natural childbirth with Teagan, not by choice.
76. I have no sympathy for women who are pregnant. I literally worked up until I had my youngest. (Got off work at 6:30, she was born at 10:30.)
77. I have never met my brother-in-law, and sometimes even forget I have one.
78. I haven't seen my brother in 5 years, and I don't know when I'll see him again.
79. I am the only one in the family that still has contact with my brother, by his choice.
80. I was a tall child, usually one of the tallest girls in class until high school.
81. I have brown hair, light brown eyes, and pale skin.
82. Because of my skin coloring, I can get away with very dark hair or any shade of red. I'm lucky like that.
83. I have lived in Colorado, Florida, California, Texas, and Germany.
84. I would like to move back to Germany some day.
85. I would like to move to Washington in the near future so that Teagan can be closer to Dustin's family.
86. My two oldest daughters live with their dad.
87. I'm never afraid to answer people's questions, no matter how personal they are.
88. I am surprisingly shy in certain situations.
89. I have a hard time standing up for myself.
90. The only live birth I've ever seen was my middle daughter's on video.
91. My dad and step-mom came to the hospital when I had all three of my daughters and my last miscarriage.
92. I am not a religious person, but I do believe there is some kind of higher power out there.
93. I believe in kharma.
94. I think my oldest daughter is the only one of my children that looks like me. The other 2 look more like their dad.
95. My youngest daughter has blonde hair and blue eyes, Dustin has dark brown hair and green eyes, I have brown hair and brown eyes.
96. I am much closer with my mother-in-law than I am with my own mom.
97. I love to workout with my husband, but haven't been able to since my oldest daughter moved out.
98. I used to own Siberian Huskies when we lived in Texas, and one year for Christmas, we had 7 puppies.
99. I still have a bit of teenage rebel in me, I hate being told what to do, and will often times do the opposite, just because.
100. Since starting my blog, I've remembered just how much I love to write.

Today was a good day

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In My Dreams

For the last 6 months or so, Dustin and I have been talking about having a threesome with another woman. (You can find his blog here) We have a friend, N, that has expressed an interest in being a part of it. This all started by me sending a text message to her last summer saying that I would just love to fuck her, that I have very little experience with women, but I wouldn't mind learning from her, or just being with her once. We traded messages back and forth, and even sent a few pictures to each other. It was very exciting, and definitely a huge boost to mine and Dustin's sex. I was so horny the first day N and I talked about hooking up, even after masturbating 3 times, that I pulled Dustin into the bedroom as soon as he got home and gave him head until he came. He had no idea where it came from (not that he complained at all), and said so. That was when I told him about the conversation between N and I, and I showed him the pictures we had shared with each other. I think his cock stayed hard for the next 2 or three days. He was surprised, but incredibly turned on. N and I had set a tentative date to get together. It ended up not happening then because she had some things come up, and I ended up having to take an emergency trip to the hospital and have surgery. That put me out of commission for about 6 weeks, and we stopped talking about it so much for awhile.

Then the holidays came around, and the new year. We would send little texts back and forth seeing how the other was doing, letting each other know that we're still interested, and that we'll work something out as soon as our schedules permit. It was something that was always in the back of my mind. I would think about it here and there, but it wasn't something that any of us were pushing for.

One day, N and I were texting again and we started talking about how I felt about things. I told her about what had happened with the threesomes I'd tried to have before, and how I felt afterwards. I wanted to be completely honest with her because I wanted all of us to be able to enjoy it. I told her I didn't know how I was going to react to seeing my husband fuck another woman. (Yes, I have told Dustin this, too.) I don't feel like I'm a jealous person, but I do get very territorial, and I can't help it. N completely understands, and told me that, if it made me feel better, it would just be her and I fucking, and he could watch. (Still a huge turn on for Dustin and I.) She also said that, while she's attracted to both of us, she doesn't want to ruin the friendship or any of our relationships over sex, so whatever I was comfortable with is what would happen.

Hearing that just made me even more turned on, and want her even more. This last week or so, N and I have been texting quite a bit again. I mentioned to her that I've been thinking about her, and I would really like to get together with her soon. To my surprise, she said she may be able to come hang out Thursday (tomorrow). I was very excited, and shared that with Dustin as I was going to bed. It clearly had the intended effect on him, because when he came to bed, he attacked me, and I was cumming from the second he touched me.

As I was leaving work yesterday, I just happened to run into N on my way out. It was a huge coincidence, but turned me on even more. We hugged, and talked again about her coming over. She said it looked like an even bigger possibility, and that she would let me know as soon as she knew for sure, one way or another. I texted Dustin to let him know, and to also tell him that he would be getting fucked that night. When I got home, we put the little one down for a little bit, I pulled his pants down, and began to give him an amazing blow job. (Side note: Seriously, I've never enjoyed sucking cock before, but there's just something about Dustin's cock...it's the perfect size for me to deep throat, and to play with it with my mouth, I absolutely LOVE his cock!!!)

I ended up going to bed early because I had worked a very long day at work and I physically just couldn't stay awake any longer, even though I tried. I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. It didn't feel like I had been asleep for very long, but I started to have sexy dreams. I'm not one to remember very much about my dreams, as a matter of fact, I rarely dream. But last night, I had some amazing dreams, and I remember parts of them. The one I remember the most, the one I was having when I woke up this morning, was so fucking hot I woke up with my hand down my panties. Here is what I remember:

N and I had gone for a walk because she wanted something to drink. Dustin and I are Straight Edge, so we don't have any alcohol in the house, and that's what she wanted. We were cutting through the parking lot of the abandoned bowling alley behind our apartments, and I pushed her up against one of the walls of the building. I pushed my body in to hers, stared deep into her eyes and started running my hands up and down her body as I began to kiss her, softly at first. When I felt her responding to my touch and my kiss, it got deeper. I kept her pinned against the wall, and started rubbing her breasts underneath her shirt. They were soft, and I could feel her nipples getting hard at my touch. She was running her hands all over me as well. She was grabbing my ass and pulling my hips into her. We made out like this for what felt like hours, and then we broke away from each other and walked back to our apartment. We came walking back in with silly grins on our faces. Dustin turned to look at us, and immediately knew what had happened. She and I went into the kitchen to put the things away from the store, and this time, she pushed me up against the refrigerator and started kissing me, hard. Where Dustin was sitting on the couch, he could clearly see what she was doing to me, and my reaction to it. She shoved her hand down my pants, and I immediately began moaning. She took a step back, I grabbed her, and led her to our room, telling Dustin to follow so he could watch what was about to happen.

Sadly, this is where I woke up. I know the real thing will be just as amazing, if not more so. I'm just hoping it happens soon!!!

I Want More!!!!

I haven't posted a blog in awhile. It's not that I haven't had anything to write about, life has just gotten in the way a bit. (You know, new job, kid leaving home, getting sick, the usual.) So I asked Dustin last night what my next blog should be about. (You can find his blog here.) He told me to write about my experience with a woman. While it's been quite some time, I will do my best to write about it.

It all began with my first husband wanting a threesome with another woman, or even group sex. It was not a happy marriage for a very long time, and I got tired of hearing him always run his mouth, so I got to the point where I'd do anything he wanted just to shut him up. I don't recommend anyone doing this in a relationship ever because it sucks. When he brought up a threesome with another woman, I was even more apprehensive than I thought I would be, for all different reasons. I don't think I'm a jealous person, but that also doesn't mean I'm stupid. I know when the man I'm with is just trying to get away with fucking another woman, and not in it for all of our pleasure. Every situation that involved another woman with my Ex was that kind of situation. How do I know this? Because he had already fucked the first woman he wanted to have a threesome with, his best friend's wife (without telling me until about 2 years later). Anyways, I was game, and thought it could be fun. I put down some ground rules, and we all agreed to see what would happen.
She came over, with the intent that she and I would start to fool around, and he would join in later. That's kind of what happened, except that she wasn't too interested in me. I chalked it up to both of us being nervous, and ignored the bells and whistles that were going off in my brain. She and I went to our room, stripped down to our panties, and started kissing. That's as far as the two of us got before the Ex couldn't wait any longer and came in the room. He told us to ignore him, but again, she was more interested in him. So, he joined in, and, of course, started fucking her first and ignored me. Now, I'm not trying to sound like a whiny little bitch here, but I was pretty fucked up in the head to begin with back then, and this sent me over the edge. I ran into the bathroom, crying. They obviously kept going for a bit before they noticed I was gone, because it took a few minutes before anyone came to check on me. That was my very first experience with a woman. Not great at all, but she could definitely kiss, and I was definitely curious about what being with a woman would be like.

About a year or so later, I mentioned something along this line to the Ex. Of course, I should have known better, but I thought I could share things with him, that he had learned his lesson. Anyways, we ended up setting something up on the internet. (This was 10 years ago, and my first experiences with the internet, so there weren't many places that I knew of to go.) I don't remember now where we placed ads, but we got some responses. We got a response from a couple that happened to live close by, so close, in fact, that their son was in class with one of our daughters. Small world, I know! This made me feel a bit more at ease, and I was able to talk to both of them easier. Even though I didn't know what either of them really looked like, I found myself getting very aroused talking to them, and even began to fantasize about fucking them. I was honest with both of them, and told them about our first experience with another woman and that I was very apprehensive about trying it again. She assured me that if I didn't want the men to join in, it would just be the two of us and they would just watch. This, of course, turned me on even more. We decided we were going to do this, but never really set up a date that would work for all of us.

And then came September 11th. Yes, THAT September 11th. We had just put our girls on the bus for school, and had turned on MTV. He called and asked if we were watching the news, and told me what happened. I thought he was joking because he had a sick sense of humor like that. I turned on the news, NBC, and just sat there in shock and horror. My Ex was in the military at this time, and we were stationed at Ft. Hood, TX. We didn't know what was going on, and we were scared. We decided to head over to our friend's house (since we couldn't get off base anyways) and watch what was going on together. This was the first time we all met in person. When we heard for sure that the base was closed, I called in to work. There was no way I'd make it anyways. The girl and I started talking (I'll call her Red, because I remember her having red hair), and we decided that fooling around could be a lot of fun right now. I think we said something to the guys, and made our way back to the bedroom.

I had previously told her that I had no experience with women, other than that nightmare, and I was extremely nervous. She just smiled and told me not to worry. If I wasn't comfortable doing things to her, she would do everything to me. She also assured me that the men would not come in unless we asked them to. This definitely put me more at ease. We laid down on the bed and started making out. She wasn't the best kisser, but I could let it go. She started to bring out some toys, and eventually stripped us both naked. I don't even remember if I was running my hands along her body or not, but I do know that she was definitely making me wet. She was licking my pussy in a way that no man ever had before. I was squirming and writhing in pleasure, and loving every second of it. And then, she brought out the double ended dildo. Things just went downhill from there. The Ex heard me, and wanted to see what was making me feel so good. She started to either show off, or the newness had worn off and it just didn't feel as good, I don't know what it was, but I got out of the mood very quickly. We ended up all fucking in the same bed (couple on couple) and ended up leaving a short time after that.

So there you have it, my extent of experience with women. Would I like to try again? Of course. I know all women can't be bad in bed, and I'm hoping the third time will be the charm. Why do I want to be with another woman? Ummm, hello? Have you ever looked at a naked woman? Women have beautiful bodies. I love the different curves of each section of a woman's body. I want to see what it's like to just be with a woman, and maybe have Dustin walk in on us. I know he loves to think about it too, and that alone makes me want it more. See, I enjoy doing things Dustin wants, and things that make him feel good. As a matter of fact, I love pleasing him almost more than I enjoy being pleased. That's why I know my next experience with a woman will be very different. Yes, we do have someone in mind, but volunteers are always welcome! ;)

Also, please feel free to leave any kind of feedback of things you think could help me relax or get more in the mood.