What turns me on?

This is something that I've been thinking about a lot today, and I'm not sure why. I am a very physical person, in bed and out. For most of my life, I have had a job where I have to be on my feet for 8 hours or more. I have had to lift heavy boxes, and have never expected special treatment because I'm a woman. I enjoy being physical. It makes me feel alive, purposeful, needed. I have had to be a strong person for as long as I can remember, whether that was taking care of my brother when we were home alone and mom was at the bar, or it was keeping a stoic expression during my divorce so my girls wouldn't see me cry. Being emotionally strong has become second nature for me. It also means I push a lot of people away for a lot of stupid reasons. I seem to have a couple of close friends here and there, but no one sticks around for more than a year or two. I'm not complaining, it is what it is. Being strong for others has meant that I don't always put my own best interests at heart. It's much easier for me to point out others flaws rather than work on my own.

Since I am so physical and strong outside of the bedroom, it makes sense, to me, that I would be a submissive in bed. It's my one chance to not be in control of anything and to just do exactly as I am told. I have my moments where I enjoy being in control, but for the most part, I don't. So much of my enjoyment of sex is mental. If you can fuck my mind, you can make me cum like crazy. Part of fucking my mind is complimenting me, making me feel good about myself. I've had self-esteem issues my whole life (really, who doesn't?), but I have gotten better as I have gotten older. It is always nice to hear someone say that you're pretty, it's even better to hear you're beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, etc.

Don't be afraid to touch me or make the first move. Some of my most memorable sex scenes stem from him making the first move. This can be anything as simple as just kissing me on my neck. That's a great way to get me going, actually, but don't stop there, keep going. To me, there is absolutely nothing sexier than a man that will take his time getting me going. So many men have said that they're not fully satisfied unless the woman they're with is satisfied, but yet, they have done nothing, or very little, to ensure her satisfaction. Do I need someone to go down on me every time? No, but it is very nice when it does happen, and that makes me want it more. Does that mean that you have to do everything in your power to not cum until I do? Again, not necessarily. Even if you cum and go soft, there are other things you can do to get me off, and it probably wouldn't take me that long either. I will say this though, I generally do not enjoy direct clit stimulation. My clit is very sensitive, and direct stimulation can sometimes hurt, a lot. Don't be afraid to explore my body with your hands, lips, teeth, tongue. I react differently to different pressures and different touches, try being gentle, and try it rough. I am definitely not afraid of exploration. (If you have any question about that, read some of my earlier posts, or check out my husband's blog at Life According to the Bathroom Wall)

I guess the fastest way to turn me on is to make the first move, and stay in control the entire time.

Pegging, Part 2

I have discussed pegging in another blog, however, that was just with a glass dildo. After we tried that out, and decided it was something we both liked doing, we decided to order a strap-on for some fun. This won't be used only on Dustin, it could be used in three somes, as well as by Dustin himself. It's a hollow strap on that we ordered online from Adam & Eve. They have a great selection of products, and their customer service is outstanding! Anyways, we got our toy in the mail last Friday, and we were both very excited to test it out, but we had to wait a couple of days because one of my older daughters was visiting for the weekend.

 I do have to say that it killed me to not try out the toy the second we got it. It's a big, purple penis, who wouldn't want to play with it?! Finally, Sunday night came, and we could do whatever we wanted. We put the little one to bed a little early, and just started to enjoy our night together. As soon as I put her to bed, I took my pants off, and Dustin quickly followed suit. I had put on a black thong that morning, knowing it's one of his favorites, and now, it's clear that wearing it was a good idea. I tell him to go get the strap-on, that I wanted to look at it. (Up until this point, I hadn't even taken it out of the box because of the kids always being around.) So he brought it out with a couple of other little toys. I took it out, and really looked at it, I even put it on to see how it felt. I will say, I don't know that I would be able to walk around with a penis in my pants all day, but that's just me.

After my inspection of our new treasure, I took off my shirt and asked Dustin to start kissing and lightly kissing my back, which he did, no problem. I don't remember what lead to it, but the next thing I remember, he begins to play with me with one of our little vibrators that we hadn't used yet. (I have one vibrator that, if we weren't having great sex regularly, it would be my best friend) This particular toy has a couple of different tips on it, and we used every single one. He also grabbed another product we got as a free gift with our order that is supposed to make the clit more sensitive, along with another small vibe. The combination of these 3 things together caused me to have an explosive orgasm, the likes of which I don't think I have EVER experienced before, but really hope to have again!

Now that I had been taken care of, it was finally time for the new toy to get broken in. I had to start with giving him head. I love to shove his cock as far down my throat as I possibly can. I love the taste, I love the feel, I love his cock. I got into the strap on again, and it felt a bit awkward, especially when I sat on the bed and it was resting on my thighs, but it was also very sexy and liberating at the same time. I felt like I was about to be in control for a little bit. I asked him which position he thought he would be most comfortable in, and he chose to lay flat on his stomach. I lubed up, and was ready to start. I'll be honest, it was not what I expected as far as me doing the thrusting. I'm sure I will get used to it, and get better at it with some more practice. Dustin was uncomfortable at first as well. I think I may have shoved it too far in, too fast and it hurt to begin with. I pulled out, and gently tried again. This time, the Anal Ease had kicked in, so it didn't hurt as much this time, and Dustin immediately seemed to enjoy it. I wish I could have gotten a rhythm down, and had been able to keep it in, because he was close to cumming. Unfortunately, I had no perception of how long my cock was (since I have no feeling in it), so it was difficult to keep it in. I loved hearing him moan, and his fast breathing, I knew from this that, when I had it in, I was hitting the right spot. I wanted to keep going, but I got selfish, and frustrated, and stopped. This is definitely something I'm going to need some practice at, and I'm okay with that.

Once I stopped, though, Sir came out, and I was punished for stopping. He fucked me good and hard, and did get us both off, but not without a beating. I think this was definitely a great experience, and something I will enjoying doing again and again. Now, I just wonder when he's going to fuck me in the ass again? Hmmmm......

Double Penetration

Double penetration is an idea I have toyed with for some time now, but have been too afraid to try with someone else. I have done the butt plug-vibrator combination on my own, and have enjoyed it VERY much. I've often worried if Dustin and I try it, it will hurt, or I won't like it.

Last night, we started playing around when we went to bed. My oldest daughter moved out last weekend, and since then, Dustin has been walking around the house in just his underwear at night. I love to look at his body, at any time of the day, so this has been a very nice perk from an otherwise depressing situation. Since she is gone, I am also able to be a bit more vocal during sex, which has also been wonderful. I am a screamer, and having kids has really put a damper on that. Waking them up in the middle of the night is a bit embarrassing.

When we went to bed, we started kissing, and touching and rubbing all over each other. I asked him to kiss and scratch my back, he agreed on the condition that I suck his cock. Of course I said yes, how could I not?! I started to get up to pleasure him, but he told me to get on my stomach, he was going to do my back first. I was a bit confused because I thought he would want to fuck me from behind, but he had other ideas, which I was all for.

Kissing and lightly scratching my back are two huge turn ons for me. The second I felt his lips on my back, I was dripping wet already. I instantly started craving his touch, but I was enjoying everything he was doing to me. Dustin is great at sexual timing. He knows exactly what I need in each moment. (If you're reading my blog, you should be reading his as well. Here's the link: Life According to the Bathroom Wall ) I will sometimes beg for more, but he gives me exactly what I need, when I need it. He kissed my back for awhile, and then he was done. We were talking the entire time, and when he rolled on to his side, he said something that made me jump on top of him. I started kissing him, hard, deep, passionately. I wanted him, and I wanted him badly.

I kissed his neck, shoulders, chest, arms, and finally made it to his gorgeous cock. I love to tease his cock with my tongue before I shove it all the way down my throat. I know he enjoys it, too. I love feeling his hands on the back of my head, curling his fingers up in my hair, and shoving his cock down my throat until I gag. Every time I gag, he lets out such a happy moan that makes me want to do it even more. I love to feel his cock get harder inside my mouth. I even love it when he cums down my throat. I love everything about giving him head.

I was so turned on at this point, I couldn't wait any longer. He climbed on top of me, spread my legs as far apart as he could, and shoved his hard cock inside of me. I was moaning and groaning instantly. His cock was hitting me in just the right spots. He was sucking on my toes, thrusting hard inside of me. It had me so turned on that I wanted to roll onto my side so he could get even farther inside of me. Once I was on my side, he started to play with my ass, just a little, but damn it felt incredible. I told him to shove his finger inside of me, which he did, and I came immediately, but it wasn't enough. I was grinding my hips into him as hard and as fast as I could, I don't even think I was doing it intentionally, instinct took over. I still wanted more, even though I was already screaming, moaning, grunting, I wanted more. I wanted his cock to keep fucking my pussy, and I wanted his finger to keep fucking my ass. I wanted it all, and I didn't want it to stop. He shoved his finger farther in my ass, and fucked me good and hard until we both came together.

After this little experience with double penetration, I can't wait to do it again! I'm just wondering when it will happen again......

I Realize

In writing this blog, I've come to a couple of realizations:

1.) I am far from what I used to consider normal.
2.) I have no problem expressing what I want in bed.
3.) I have one serious sexual appetite.

You may ask what I used to consider normal, and that's a fair question. For a very long time, normal to me was plain old missionary, sometimes cowgirl, penis in vagina sex. I know, not a very eloquent way to put it, but really, that's all it was to me. Spank me here and there, dig your nails in if it feels good, blah blah, boring, yawn, wake me up when it's over sex. I guess this is where I should do some explaining. I got married literally right out of high school (2 weeks exactly after graduation). I had only been with 3 men, including him, up to that point. I was young, thought I was in love, and didn't really have a clue as to what real life was about, but I was about to learn. Not long after we were married we started talking about fantasies. At that time, I had wondered what it was like to have a MMF threesome, and told him so. Within the next 2 weeks to a month (if it was even that long), he brought a friend over and said that we were going to do it. It was not a turn on, in any way, and I didn't have any fun with it. For some reason, though, he brought a few more guys home throughout the next few years for the same reasons. Each time I had no warning, and each time I had no choice. It got to the point where sex just wasn't fun or enjoyable for me any more. It got even worse when I found out he cheated on me with his best friend's wife.

At one point, I had a really good friend, I'll call him E. We were able to talk about everything, and I mean everything. He was a fun guy to be around, and he always had a way of putting a smile on my face. We ended up sleeping together, and it was amazing. It was honestly the best sex I had ever had in my life, up until that point. He taught me a lot of things about myself, but the biggest thing he taught me is that sex is a good thing. It's not something to be embarrassed about, or to be ashamed of.

Once I accepted that sex wasn't dirty, per se, I was free to enjoy it, and boy did I! Now, there were a couple of guys that I was with that were okay, not awful but not earth shakingly good either, but there wasn't anything about our sex life that I needed. Sex was something that was still just there. And then I met Dustin.

When you're in a long distance relationship, you have to have great communication skills. Talking on the phone for hours every night, emails and text messages throughout the day, it was almost like we were always around each other, except we hadn't even met in person yet. I know, every one thought I was completely crazy at the time, but it was perfect. We would have phone sex on a pretty regular basis, and that was hot as hell. When we were actually together, just him touching me was almost enough to make me cum. (BTW-yes, he still has that affect on me four years later, and I love it!)

I have always enjoyed my sex life with Dustin. I have always felt that we feed off each others energy, and know exactly how to please the other, without saying a word. I love telling him what I want him to do to me, and what I want to do to him. I especially love telling him these things via text when he's at work. I will play it out in my mind first. I think about what I want to send him, and I imagine what his reaction will be to reading it. I imagine that, if I word it correctly, he will be hard as a rock when he reads it, and that gets me so incredibly hot. Most of the time, I will have to go masturbate just to get through the day. I love that I have a partner that I can fantasize about, tell him about it, and then actually enjoy acting it out. Most of the time, my fantasies begin with me pulling his pants down around his ankles as soon as he walks in the door and just start sucking his cock. I have never really enjoyed sucking cock until being with Dustin. I absolutely love shoving his cock down my throat, and will do it just about every time fuck. I love the feeling of it in my hands and mouth. I love feeling him throbbing at my touch. I love the way his body moves in reaction to what I'm doing. I especially love the nights I completely suck him off and he shoots his hot cum in my mouth. I love the taste of it.

I have realized I am one of those women that would love to have sex every single day. (Except for that time of the month....and in that case, I'd still be okay with 1 time that week.) I have also decided that a lot of this has come from being more open about sex, but also from getting older. Who am I kidding? I'm in the Dirty Thirties, and it's been fun so far. I get what I want in bed, whether that is his pleasure or mine, it all makes me happy.



I'll write another blog soon. We're expecting a toy in the mail, and I can't wait to try it out! For anyone reading this, sorry it's kind of rambling. I just wanted to get these thoughts out. Feel free to leave comments, questions or suggestions here for me.