What I Need Right Now

I have not quite been feeling like myself in bed lately. I'm having a harder time getting turned on, and an even harder time really getting off. I don't think it's because we're doing anything different, in fact, we're doing everything that usually turns me on. So what is going on with me? Here are a few of my theories, and let me say, this is just what I'm thinking, I'm not saying anyone is doing anything wrong:

1. I'm a fucking temperamental woman.

As much as I hate to admit that, it's true. I'm a woman, I have too damn many hormones racing through my body on any given day, and I have mood swings. Look at me funny, and I just might cry. I'm not as tough as I may seem. Factor in a ticking biological clock that I would much rather smash up against a wall, and there you go.

2. I need more than to just be fucked. 

This goes along with me being temperamental. Now, don't get me wrong, I love a nice hard fuck as much as the next guy, but sometimes, I need the emotions that go along with it. I sometimes need the emotional aspect more than just the fuck. I need the cuddling, I need the holding. I hate going to bed by myself more often than not. We have a huge bed (California King), so we can each spread out and never touch each other. At first, I loved it, now I'm not liking it so much. I like the closeness and the feeling of protection that comes with that.

3. Stressed out.

I was out of work for 3 weeks. When you have a family to support, being out of work is scary, and stressful, as hell. I start my new job tomorrow, but it's only part time. Yes, something is better than nothing, but I'm still a bit worried that it's going to be really damn hard trying to make ends meet.

4. Fantasies are getting overwhelming.

There has been talk about us having a threesome. The girl is particularly into me, and has told me this on several occasions. Hot as hell, right? Yeah, I think so, too. Here's my problem with this. I'm starting to feel like, whenever this finally does happen (if it happens), we will have talked it to death, and the fantasy will have been so much better than the reality. I've been through that before, and it's not fun. As a matter of fact, it's a huge let down, and it makes me shut down. I'm starting to think the threesome with this girl won't happen, just because every time we start to talk about it and try to set something up, she falls off the face of the planet.

I think this last one is really part of what's going on with me at the moment. Once again, the talk of a threesome has come up, and once again, Dustin is so excited about it that he wants sex every night. But is it me he wants, or just the sex? I mean, I know he wants me, but everything ends up talking about the threesome. I will say, the last couple of nights, it hasn't been like that, and it's been great! Now don't get me wrong, talking about it every now and then is a lot of fun too, but I just don't like, and mentally can't, think about it or talk about it all the time. It just doesn't work for me. If I attempt to talk about it all the time, I'm not going to want it to happen. I know this from past experience. My first husband actually talked me into several threesomes that I wasn't comfortable with, one of which was with another woman (his best friends wife, the same woman I would later find out he cheated on me with). I was very uncomfortable, and when they started fucking, I ran out of the room. He came to find me several minutes later, after I had locked myself in the bathroom and was already a sniveling mess. Needless to say, it wasn't a great experience, and it's not something I'd like to repeat. I'm scared of having a threesome with another woman. I'm afraid that my husband will be more attracted to her, or she'll make him feel better, or whatever. I'm afraid of being too emotional, and freaking out again.

So what do I need right now? I need to feel the love. I need to fall asleep in his arms. I need to make love, and not just fuck all the time. I need to focus on us, and no one else, for a few nights. I guess I'm just wanting to feel a bit spoiled. I would like to hear that I look sexy, hell, even hearing that I look pretty would be nice. I don't know. I guess I'm just rambling now, so I'll end it.

 

Pegging

Last night was a great night. We didn't have anything planned, we were just relaxing and enjoying the night. We were both horny as hell and had planned on playing some once the girls went to bed, but I wanted to take it a step further. 

There are a lot of things I have said I would never do or try, or that I just flat out wasn't interested in. One of those things was any kind of anal play. I thought it was gross, I mean, it's your ass! It's for exit only, how could anyone get any kind of pleasure out of it? I didn't understand and was very closed off to it. I was young and conservative, and not that adventurous. I would learn....boy, would I learn.

Fast forward to the first guy I dated after my first husband and I split. Greg was not my typical type. He was a tad overweight, a total geek (because there is a difference between nerds and geeks!), but he paid attention to me. He was my boss at my second job, and that made fucking him that much more exciting. For as reserved as he was, there were things he wanted to try that, at the time, I didn't really want any part of. He really wanted to engage in water sports, and I was NOT into that at all. He approached the subject of anal a couple of times, but I usually brushed him off and quickly changed the subject. One night, after a few beers and a few shots (I was still drinking at this time, among other things), he brought it up again. This time, I figured, what the hell. He told me that if I didn't like it, or it hurt too much, he would never ask me for it again. So we went for it. Anyone that has ever had anal sex knows that you need lube, and lots of it. Things like Anal Eaze help a lot because it has something in it to desensitize you, making the entry not as painful. Well, I don't think Greg took any of this into account, and I sure as hell didn't think about it, so we went at it with nothing. Thankfully, he had a smaller penis, but it still hurt. Telling him it hurt, seeing me tense up, didn't matter. He just wanted to finish. When he was done, I told him that would never be happening again.

Fast forward about another year, and I'm with Dustin. He's asking me if I'm interested in trying it again. I'll be honest, I wasn't completely opposed to trying it with him, but it was going to take a little while for me to be really excited about it. He was okay with that, and never pressured me about it. We would talk seriously, or dirty, or during phone sex, and when I was finally comfortable with the thought, and actually interested in trying it, I told him. I can't honestly tell you how long into our relationship it was before he actually fucked me in the ass, but I will say that it has been somewhat of a staple in our bedroom. 

I started thinking that since I enjoyed him fucking me in the ass, I wondered if he would. When giving him head, I started to play with his ass a little to see what kind of reaction I would get. I got a very positive reaction, so eventually, I would play a little more. I would use my tongue, finger, my little squishy vibrating butt plug once or twice. He seemed to enjoy it all. 

One night, I had him on his stomach so I could kiss his back. I started thrusting my hips into his ass, and heard a very happy moan. At that moment, I wanted to just put on a strap-on and fuck him long and hard. Unfortunately, we don't have a strap-on, so I couldn't do it. I do, however, have a glass toy that is made for anal play. I got it out, and started teasing him with it. Hearing him moan, watching his hips buck, seeing his hand go straight for his hard cock, I knew I was on to something.

Back to last night. I told him that I wanted to fuck him in the ass with that toy. He instantly got hard, and I loved it. We started playing on the couch. I was stroking him, making sure his gorgeous cock was nice and hard, and then I begged him to lick me. I wasn't begging enough, because as he got up, he slapped me, and told me to beg him more. Of course, I obliged, and he began to kiss and lick me all over. God was it good. The way he looked up at me while he was licking my pussy and teasing my ass was so hot! He made me cum a couple of times, and then it was his turn.

I lead him to the bedroom, climbed up on the bed, and immediately started licking his cock. I have never enjoyed giving a man head as much as I do with him. I've had enough practice with him that I'm finally able to deep throat, and I was doing as much of that as I could last night. I wanted him nice and hard and ready for me. I made him roll over on to his side and spread his legs. I was enjoying being in charge and telling him what to do. I immediately grabbed the toy, used the lube, and started to shove it in. I went slow at first because I didn't want to hurt him. The immediate, intense moan coming from him told me I was doing a good job. I can't describe the intense feelings that came over me as I was fucking him in the ass, but I know I want to get a strap-on to be able to do a better job of it. As I had the toy in one hand, I grabbed his cock with the other and began stroking. He turned a little and asked me if I was trying to make him cum, because he was close. I decided to stop, for now, and have him use me. 

That's when he went into Daddy mode, making sure I was enjoying his cock and getting off. But just as I was about to cum, Sir came out and demanded that I hold it in. He flipped me onto my stomach, shoved his cock back in me, and began to fuck me hard, mean, and started spanking me. The pain from the spanking made me want to cum even more, but I was still denied. It wasn't until after he came that I was allowed to cum with him rubbing on my clit. We were both completely spent and satisfied. I asked him if he was okay with everything. He turned to me, smiled, and said that I could fuck him in the ass anytime. 

Anyone that's reading, what are your feelings about pegging? Is it something you're willing to try, or is it a hard limit for you? I'm curious to see what others have to say about this subject.

My BDSM Inclination

A few friends of mine have taken this quiz and gotten interesting results, so I figured, what the hell? If you go to quizfarm.com and do a search on BDSM, you will come across the quiz with the title "BDSM Inclination." I have to say, I think the results for me are pretty accurate, but what do you all think?

You Scored as Switch
(((Note: This quiz is not totally comprehensive because of the length such a quiz would be. I kept it sex-based because I felt that psychological profiles and motivations were too complicated and vary too greatly among people that practice BDSM.))) You know what you want but it has nothing to do with your own role in the bedroom. You have the ability to be flexible in that area which can be useful for exploring you sexuality with your partner.

Switch

100%

Bondage

86%

Sadist

82%

Masochist

82%

Exhibitionist / Voyeur

79%

Experimental

75%

Submissive

75%

Dominant

68%

Degradation Lover

57%

Vanilla

7%

Name Calling

Whenever you're in a relationship, or just in bed with someone, pet names or nick names always seem to come about. When I'm talking to my husband, I rarely say his name. I usually call him babe, honey, or some other variation of the "traditional" nick names.

Since we've started exploring the world of BDSM, we've also started exploring and playing around with different nick names and dynamics. After talking with some people on Twitter, I started calling him Sir, and he, in turn, called me his slut or his whore. Calling him Sir almost brings on a completely different personality. My husband is a gentle, quiet, shy man; but when I start to call him Sir, he turns into a much more aggressive, almost mean man. The second I say, "Yes, Sir," the switch is flipped. He will begin to growl, almost as if he's hungry and I'm his meal, he begins to bite, his slaps get harder, his thrusts deeper, and I'm almost never allowed to show just how much I'm enjoying it. I love seeing this kind of transformation in him, and I love feeling how much he enjoys it as well.

So up until now, that was about the extent of the nick names. I got a text from a friend a few days ago. We have tried in the past to get together for a threesome, and for her and I to just basically fuck. It hasn't ever worked out, but it's something that has always been in the back of our minds. She and her boyfriend just broke up, and she's got some time to come play. So we have been trying, again, to set something up. Just the thought of all of this gets me very excited, and very wet, even as I'm typing this out. She is part of our vanilla life, but I'd still love to have even just one night with her. She's been with women before, and that's a part of me that I've never fully explored. Don't get me wrong, I could never be in a relationship with a woman, but I am perfectly fine with fucking one. And even more okay with having my husband watch.

I told Dustin about the texts while he was at work. I wanted to make sure he had plenty of time to let his imagination run wild before he came home because I had a little surprise in store for him when he did get home. Talking to her, I'll call her N for now, had me so worked up all I wanted to do was either masturbate or get fucked, but I had to wait. Kids were running wild, and Dustin was at work. I made sure I got the girls to bed early that night. I put on my thigh high socks and the panties I know he loves to see me in. He ended up getting home late that night because the bus broke down right when he got on it. When he did get home, he started to change his clothes. He was down to just his boxer briefs, and I walked in and started stroking him. I had him follow me out to the living room, pulled his underwear down and began to shove his hard cock as far down my throat as I could. We were both very worked up because of the messages from N. I then led him back to our room, and climbed up on the bed. I continued to suck on his cock while stripping down to just my socks and panties. I was completely soaked and couldn't wait any longer. I shoved him in me as fast as I could, and almost came right away. Then the real playing began. Talking while fucking is always nice. I love it when he tells me exactly what he wants to do to me, in detail, and then he does it. Somewhere in all of this, I cried out, "Daddy!" I felt the physical reaction come from him. He liked it....a lot.

Each time I would moan, or felt the need to cry out, I would say, "Daddy", and he would give me so much more. It wasn't the hardness of calling him Sir, but it was father-like. It was gentle, but firm. He asked me what I wanted him to call me in this situation, and I immediately answered him with Baby Girl. I could tell he liked that, too.

So now I have 2 very different nick names to call out in bed. Each one gives me a very different reaction from him, but a reaction I want, nonetheless. And as for N.....well, that could be another blog, for another day, but hopefully, it will be soon.