Morning Head

Since I've started my new job, I seem to get up with more than enough time to get ready in the morning. With it being summer, Dustin and I usually sleep naked just because it's too hot to sleep with anything on. We go to bed at different times, so I never know until I get up in the morning if he is naked or not. Having the extra time in the morning has been nice because I've been able to enjoy looking at his body. I think my husband is sexy as hell, and I'm very lucky to have him. He works out, and takes care of his body, and I just love staring at it. I honestly can't help myself, not that I would want to. His arms, his legs, his ass, his back, I mean, it's all amazing.
Where was I? Oh yeah. So when I'm getting ready for work in the morning, I have a clear view of him sleeping in bed. I have found myself, on at least 2 occasions, not able to control myself. Both times, I simply walked over to the bed and started kissing on him. Each time, he woke up, a little, but not really.

The first time he was already on his back. I was wearing leggings, his favorite next to tall socks, and began to suck on his gorgeous cock. He woke up quickly after that. I sucked and stroked and teased his cock. It was different because I knew I was on a little bit of a time limit, and that is something I'm not used to at all. I'm used to being able to take my time and go as slow as I wanted. It was almost like a challenge to me that I gladly accepted. He was playing with me while I was sucking on him, which is always a nice turn of events, and I wasn't expecting it at all. I got off, and then it was time for me to get him off. I love feeling how hard he's getting in my mouth and my hand. I love feeling him buck his hips towards me because he wants more and is close to filling my mouth with his hot cum. I love hearing him moan, grunt, growl (depending on the mood) while I have him in my mouth. I especially love feeling his hands roam aimlessly over my body, and then grab hold tightly because he's about to explode. I love everything about giving him head. In case I haven't mentioned this before, I swallow. If he cums in my mouth, I swallow every last drop, and will continue to play with him to make sure I get all of it, and give him an intense orgasm in the process. I finished him off, swallowed all of it, and finished getting ready for work.

Then came this morning. I've been very horny all week, and getting him off always makes me feel a little better, for the moment. I have been waking up way before my alarm this week, and this morning was no exception. I got up and tried to take my time getting ready for work, but didn't have coffee, and didn't feel like really doing my hair, so I just put it up and was ready to go in no time. Today, I wore a nice short skirt to work, with a thong. It would have provided very easy access, and I was considering just mounting him and getting myself off, but I had to get him hard first. And then I realized he was sleeping on his stomach. I can't mount him this way, what am I going to do. I started kissing on his neck and shoulders, and could tell he was semi-conscious, so I told him to roll over. Looking at him, I could hardly contain myself. I knew he still wasn't awake, so I would have to work to get him hard. I had a little more time to play because I woke up so early. Hearing him gradually waking up, feeling him get harder in my hand and mouth was such a turn on. I had started kneeling on the bed, but as he woke up and got harder, I decided to stand next to the bed so he could touch me, too. The harder he got, the more he moaned, the more I wanted him to cum.

I started to feel, and see, his hips starting to move. I knew I was doing a good job. I pulled him out of my mouth, and started to use just my hand. I was caressing the tip because I know that's the most sensitive part, I love the reaction I get from him when I do that. He was quickly becoming breathless, and started begging me to suck on him some more. I was enjoying using my hand at the moment, so that's what I continued to do. I could tell he was close, and by now, I was doing everything I could just to make him explode. I didn't have to wait long. I was able to catch most of it in my hand, but dribbled a little onto his abdomen. I went to get something to clean it up with, and once I cleaned it off him, I stroked him a few more times, just for that added release for him. I kissed him, and told him to go back to sleep.

That's just the kind of wife I am. :)

I'm an Asshole

I think the title of this post really explains it all. For anyone that has been reading my blog for any amount of time, you have probably noticed that there haven't been an abundance of posts lately. To be honest, real life has gotten in the way, and I don't seem to have much material to work with. I guess it started when Dustin posted this blog entry. It upset me a lot. So, I began to go out of my way to start things, and come on to him. I started a new job, so I'm working days now and have to get up early in the morning. I have to force myself to stay up until he gets home from work most nights just so I can see him, let alone have sex with him. I pointed out to him, that while I understand he was just voicing his needs, I have some needs too. I go to bed alone every night. There may be 1 night every couple of months or so where we go to bed at the same time. I absolutely hate it. I have always known that he's a night owl, and it's fine, but I need my husband to come lay in bed and cuddle with me every now and then, not go to sleep, just fucking lay with me. And I don't need it all the time, once a week, once a month, something would be nice. I've told him this time and time again in the 4 years we've been married, and his response is always that he's not tired when I go to bed. So, I need to learn how to get over it.
I miss holding hands. I miss him putting his arms around me just because he wants to. I just miss how things used to be, when we would both attack each other the second we were alone together. I miss making out with him, hell, I miss getting kisses (other than the obligatory peck on the lips when he leaves for work, and I don't even get that all the time) on a regular basis, not just when one of us is in the mood.
The other day, while I was getting ready for work, I walked over and kissed him while I thought he was asleep. He started rubbing on me, so I decided to give him a blow job. Now, don't get me wrong, I love giving my husband blow jobs. I know how much he enjoys it, too. He was playing with me a little while I was giving him head, but I was doing this mostly for him. I've also been wearing leggings almost every day this week because I know how much he enjoys them, as well. We used our last condom last week, and haven't bought more, so we can't have vaginal sex right now, so wearing the leggings has been kind of dumb on my part. Granted, there are plenty of other things we could do besides that, but I found out yesterday that I have to say what I want to do. Sigh.
Last night, he came to bed and started playing with me, and it was amazing. Waking up to the start of an orgasm is always good. Anyways, when I was done, I thought we were done. Again, I'm an asshole. I didn't even attempt to finish him off, or ask about it until he opened the toy drawer and started rummaging through it. I told him then that I would, that I had no problem with it, I just didn't think about it, but all I got was "No, it's fine." I even attempted to be aggressive about it, something he's said he wants me to do, and still nothing. As I'm writing this I'm practically in tears because I didn't give him what he wanted. Why is that? Why am I so upset about not giving him what he wanted one time? Am I just an asshole, or am I really that stupid? I'm starting to feel like I'm not good enough for him, no matter what I do, and I don't know how to fix that.