Throughout the day yesterday Dustin and I were sending dirty texts back and forth while he was at work. Nothing too explicit, or even outrageous, but we were both incredibly sexually charged and were craving each other. Since we're staying with friends until we can find a bigger place, most of our stuff is in storage, including all of our sex toys. I mentioned this to Dustin, and he told me to get on the web site of our favorite local sex shop Fascinations and check it out to see what I can find because I have credit there. Browsing through the site got me even more turned on, so I texted him telling him. He clearly enjoyed the text because we continued texting about what we wanted to do when he got home. I made my blog post yesterday, and by the time I finished it, I needed to take a nice hot shower and rub one out, so that's exactly what I did. Of course, I told Dustin I had posted the new blog, he had already read it at work and was sitting in the back room with a raging hard on....which turned me on even more.
Dustin got home from work around 9pm, and we still needed to get out little girl to bed. Surprisingly, she was pretty easy to get to sleep this time, for the first time in a week or two. The second she was asleep, I jumped on top of Dustin and started kissing and grinding on him. His hands immediately went to my tits. We had won some nipple charms from Erotica World (who's blog can be found here) because we simply commented and voted on a poll Lacy was conducting, so we tried those out. I had told Dustin that I wanted him to get rough, we hadn't gotten rough in a very long time, and we both get off on it, and since our roommates were out for the evening, this was the perfect opportunity. I also needed him to be my Daddy. I wanted him to have complete control, and no matter what I said or did in the moment, I wanted him to keep going.
When we do the Daddy, little girl role play, inevitably a "Mommy" is brought up. The fact that "Mommy" won't do the things Daddy likes is why he plays with his little girl. The dirty talk began with Daddy saying what he wanted to do to me. I told him I will do anything he wants, I know Mommy doesn't like to play with him, and that's why he comes to play with me, and I love it. I want to be his little girl forever, and I promise not to tell anyone because I don't want to be taken away from him. He kept rubbing his hands along my stomach and boobs, concentrating on my tits. His hands kept cupping my breasts, rubbing, grabbing, kissing them. His hands started to travel down towards my pussy. I was already so wet, I could feel it on his pants, through my pants and panties. I could feel his nice hard cock rubbing against me as I was grinding on him, and felt like I was so close to cumming. He started to tease my clit, coming close to rubbing it, making me buck my hips closer to him.
He started talking about the things Mommy didn't want to do with him, one of them being him playing with her ass. I love having Daddy play with my ass, and since we were on a futon that is low to the floor, I immediately got up, turned around, pulled my pants and panties off, and straddled him again with my ass in his face. "Is this what you want, Daddy?" My question was answered with a happy moan, and a tongue shoved deep in my ass. It didn't take long for him to put his finger in, a little at first, and gradually more. I kept pushing back on him, wanting more, needing more. He was enjoying my ass as much as I was enjoying everything he was doing. He made me cum, but I still needed more of him. I stood up, and pulled him up to face me.
As we were face to face, I sunk down to the floor, pulling his pants and boxers down with me at the same time. His hard cock exposed, I started stroking. I looked up at him as I was shoving him deep inside my mouth. Daddy said that was something Mommy wouldn't do for him anymore, and when she did, she wasn't nearly as good as his little girl. I like playing with Daddy like that. I love seeing how happy I make him, and I really love knowing how good he's feeling.
I could tell if I kept playing with Daddy like that, he was going to cum, and I still needed to feel him inside me. We climbed up onto the bed, and Daddy laid on his stomach. I continued kissing on him, rubbing my hands all over. I had him roll over so I could grind on him a little more. I even shoved the tip of his cock inside my pussy, and bounced up and down a couple times, then licked my juices off him.
Daddy loves it when I can taste myself, and I really enjoying tasting myself on him. We were both ready for him to be in me by now, and I laid down on my back so that he could insert all of himself. I love that initial thrust inside me. I'm always really tight when he first shoves his cock in me, so I feel every part of him even more with that first thrust. He started nice and slow, but I was cumming immediately. He lifted my legs up, and started kissing my feet. The second he did this, I came hard, begging him not to stop, telling how good he was making me feel, telling him I wanted him to feel this good because Mommy obviously doesn't take care of him like I do. Daddy was feeling good, and enjoying every inch of me, but I could tell there was something missing. Daddy needed to get rough, and he started growling in my ear. I asked Daddy to punish me for all the things Mommy wouldn't do for him. I told him I wanted him to take it all out on me. He smiled as he growled and began to slap and choke me. I tried to fight back, Daddy had a lot of built up anger towards Mommy, but that only made Daddy choke and slap harder. When I was writhing in pain and pleasure, on the verge of tears from everything, Daddy and I came together.
We haven't gotten rough like that in a long time, and because of all the pleasure and pain involved my head was scrambled. When I came down off the high of it all, I was crying like an actual little girl. Dustin saw this and immediately asked if I was okay. He had slapped and choked me pretty hard and was afraid he had hurt me. When I explained to him I was fine and had no idea I was crying, he seemed relieved.
I loved playing with Dustin like this, and I was so thankful we were able to do it again. I love that he can make me feel so good it brings me to tears, even if that includes a little pain along the way. I just hope we can do it again very soon. :)
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Making Up
What is it about fighting with someone you love that makes the sex afterwards so incredible? I am one of those people where, when I am pissed off or arguing with someone I care about, it turns me on immensely. Even if I am hurt or upset, if he were to touch me at all, I would melt into him. I think this is part of why the rape fantasy captivates my attention the way it does. At the same time, making up after a fight makes me very submissive and wanting to please my Daddy in any way he wants.
This last month has been very trying for us. We are currently staying with friends, with all of us looking to get into a house in the near future. In the meantime, we are all in cramped quarters, but enjoying the company. I have 3 children, 2 with my first husband, and Bug with Dustin. My 2 oldest daughters have been living with their dad since March, my middle daughter has lived with him since 2008. She had expressed wanting to come live with us again, and decided to do the adult thing and discuss it with her dad. He flipped out, and kicked her out. He brought her here, so things are even more cramped.
Through all of this, Dustin and I were arguing. Well, if you call not speaking to each other for a few days arguing, that's what we were doing. When we started talking again, I hugged him, and began to kiss on his neck. Just being able to touch him and have him touch me for the first time in days got me wet. I wanted nothing more than to feel every last inch of him right then, but everyone was still up and we were in the kitchen.
Once the girls were asleep, I started kissing on him again. I started with his neck. When I start to kiss on Dustin, I take everything in, the texture of his skin, the smell of his skin, the way his breath catches when I kiss him in just the right spot, the little moan that escapes from his lips as I continue to kiss, lick, and suck. This particular night we had to be as quiet as possible, so I didn't hear too many moans, though a few escaped here and there. I mostly heard the tempo of his breath changing. I wrapped myself around him and ran my hands along his body as we kissed. It had been quite awhile since we had made out, and it felt like it had been even longer since we had fucked, and I was craving him, badly.
I laid down on the bed, and continued to run my hands along his body, feeling his hard cock jump every time I would grab it. I absolutely love grabbing his cock, feeling it get harder in my grasp, knowing that at that moment, I have the power to make him feel better than he ever has before, plus I just love feeling his cock in any way I can. :)
I was a little tired, and ended up falling asleep before anything else could happen. Several hours later I was awakened by a rather intense orgasm. I thought it was an incredibly vivid dream at first, then I opened my eyes, and felt his hand pressed against my clit, kissing on my neck. Once he knew I was awake, that's when he shoved his fingers deep into my already dripping pussy, causing my body to arch in pleasure, begging him for more. He was already sending me into another world, not able to focus on anything other than the pleasure he was giving me, when I started to hear him whispering in my ear, "Cum for me baby, cum for your Daddy." I didn't want to control myself, but I knew I had to. He knew I was cumming, and he wanted to keep me cumming. I started begging him to fuck me, but he wouldn't. He said he wanted to feel my mouth on him.
I was cumming again and decided I should give him exactly what he asked for. I grabbed his hard cock and began stroking again. I then licked my hand, and stroked a little harder and faster. He got harder with every stroke, and I couldn't resist shoving all of him in my mouth. I could tell he was enjoying this because he wasn't rubbing on my clit as hard, and switched to playing with my ass. I sucked up and down his gorgeous shaft (have I mentioned before that I'm in love with Dustin's penis? Well, now you know.) alternating between using my mouth and my hand. He was getting close to cumming, because he put his hand on the back of my head and shoved his cock back into my mouth. I could feel him throbbing, getting even closer to cumming. I stroked him with my hand, in unison with my mouth and tongue, hearing his moans, feeling his breathing getting faster, until I felt him explode in my mouth. I sucked every last drop I could out of him, and swallowed it all too. I love the taste of his cum, too.
It was an incredibly erotic way to make up, but I loved it. It was also just a warm up, because we're both still craving each other......we're hoping to get our fix tonight. I'll write about it as soon as it happens. I have been a very naughty wife today, sending him texts about things I want to do, pictures I've been looking at from our threesome and how hot they are.....I'm hoping that has been enough to get him good and turned on. We shall see!
This last month has been very trying for us. We are currently staying with friends, with all of us looking to get into a house in the near future. In the meantime, we are all in cramped quarters, but enjoying the company. I have 3 children, 2 with my first husband, and Bug with Dustin. My 2 oldest daughters have been living with their dad since March, my middle daughter has lived with him since 2008. She had expressed wanting to come live with us again, and decided to do the adult thing and discuss it with her dad. He flipped out, and kicked her out. He brought her here, so things are even more cramped.
Through all of this, Dustin and I were arguing. Well, if you call not speaking to each other for a few days arguing, that's what we were doing. When we started talking again, I hugged him, and began to kiss on his neck. Just being able to touch him and have him touch me for the first time in days got me wet. I wanted nothing more than to feel every last inch of him right then, but everyone was still up and we were in the kitchen.
Once the girls were asleep, I started kissing on him again. I started with his neck. When I start to kiss on Dustin, I take everything in, the texture of his skin, the smell of his skin, the way his breath catches when I kiss him in just the right spot, the little moan that escapes from his lips as I continue to kiss, lick, and suck. This particular night we had to be as quiet as possible, so I didn't hear too many moans, though a few escaped here and there. I mostly heard the tempo of his breath changing. I wrapped myself around him and ran my hands along his body as we kissed. It had been quite awhile since we had made out, and it felt like it had been even longer since we had fucked, and I was craving him, badly.
I laid down on the bed, and continued to run my hands along his body, feeling his hard cock jump every time I would grab it. I absolutely love grabbing his cock, feeling it get harder in my grasp, knowing that at that moment, I have the power to make him feel better than he ever has before, plus I just love feeling his cock in any way I can. :)
I was a little tired, and ended up falling asleep before anything else could happen. Several hours later I was awakened by a rather intense orgasm. I thought it was an incredibly vivid dream at first, then I opened my eyes, and felt his hand pressed against my clit, kissing on my neck. Once he knew I was awake, that's when he shoved his fingers deep into my already dripping pussy, causing my body to arch in pleasure, begging him for more. He was already sending me into another world, not able to focus on anything other than the pleasure he was giving me, when I started to hear him whispering in my ear, "Cum for me baby, cum for your Daddy." I didn't want to control myself, but I knew I had to. He knew I was cumming, and he wanted to keep me cumming. I started begging him to fuck me, but he wouldn't. He said he wanted to feel my mouth on him.
I was cumming again and decided I should give him exactly what he asked for. I grabbed his hard cock and began stroking again. I then licked my hand, and stroked a little harder and faster. He got harder with every stroke, and I couldn't resist shoving all of him in my mouth. I could tell he was enjoying this because he wasn't rubbing on my clit as hard, and switched to playing with my ass. I sucked up and down his gorgeous shaft (have I mentioned before that I'm in love with Dustin's penis? Well, now you know.) alternating between using my mouth and my hand. He was getting close to cumming, because he put his hand on the back of my head and shoved his cock back into my mouth. I could feel him throbbing, getting even closer to cumming. I stroked him with my hand, in unison with my mouth and tongue, hearing his moans, feeling his breathing getting faster, until I felt him explode in my mouth. I sucked every last drop I could out of him, and swallowed it all too. I love the taste of his cum, too.
It was an incredibly erotic way to make up, but I loved it. It was also just a warm up, because we're both still craving each other......we're hoping to get our fix tonight. I'll write about it as soon as it happens. I have been a very naughty wife today, sending him texts about things I want to do, pictures I've been looking at from our threesome and how hot they are.....I'm hoping that has been enough to get him good and turned on. We shall see!
Friday, November 4, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Need to get this off my chest
Hello readers. It's been awhile since I've posted anything, and I apologize. It's not that we haven't been having amazing sex (we always do), I just haven't been able to write anything. And I will apologize in advance that this blog entry isn't directly related to sex either, rather it's something that has been weighing on my mind for a few days, and if I don't get it out somehow, it will eat me alive.
Currently, we are in the process of moving. We are staying with friends until we find a place, and this all came about quite suddenly. I'd rather not go into the details of that here, but let's just say, it's not exactly happy circumstances. Anyways, my husband (who's blog can be found here) posted some things on Facebook that he didn't mean. It upset and worried a lot of people, including family.
The day after those posts were made was the day we needed to get everything out of the old apartment. It was a clusterfuck, but we got it done, thankfully. In the middle of packing, loading up the Uhaul, taking things to where we'd be staying, taking care of our pets and 2 year old, all on very little sleep, my brother-in-law decides he's going to text the exact same thing 20+ times to my husband. He also started calling, a lot. To be fair to both sides, Dustin's phone was on silent, and he didn't have it on him, so he didn't know about it until much later in the day.
Cue my phone starting to go off. I got a text message, in the middle of trying to coordinate movers to come help, asking me why Dustin was ignoring him. First off, I don't know how he got my number, but whatever. I was polite and texted back that everything was fine, but didn't elaborate. I was a little busy, after all. He asked if he could help, I told him no, and I thought that was the end of it.
We finally have the Uhaul loaded up, and are driving over to the storage unit to put everything inside. My phone rings, and it's my brother-in-law. I don't answer and let it go to voice mail. Before I can even listen to the voice mail, he texts me, asking me why Dustin is ignoring him, and if I could get Dustin to call ASAP because he's worried. I was honest and told him it may not be till the next day because we were a bit busy. His response: "Seriously? I understand you guys are in crisis mode but after what he said on Facebook he can't take two minutes to call or text??"
My response: "I'm not with him. He's taking care of our daughter, and I'm moving. He's fine, I'll have him call you when he gets a chance." I thought that was the end of it. Boy, was I wrong.
Over the next 2 days, he continues to text Dustin incessantly, while Dustin is at work and can't answer. Because he wasn't getting the response he wanted, or felt he deserved, he resorts to posting on Dustin's Facebook wall. This is where I got pissed off.
I can't say I remember everything he wrote, and Dustin has since taken it down, but it went along the lines of because of what Dustin posted on Facebook, and since what we write in our blogs is pretty deviant stuff (because a husband and wife writing about their sex life is really fucking deviant behavior), we could get our daughter taken away from us. Any good, decent parent in the world would probably have the same reaction I did. Fuck you. You're family, and you're threatening that our daughter could be taken away? Who the fuck are you? I know the laws in the state of Colorado, and I know that no, she could not be taken away because of the Facebook posts. And what we write in our blogs? I personally view it as us sharing our love, and the enjoyment we get from one another with the world. I think it's a beautiful thing that we love each other enough, and are comfortable with and trust each other enough to put ourselves out there like that. There aren't a lot of happy marriages out there now, and I'd like to think that we inspire people, in one way or another. I could be completely off on all of that, but that's how I feel about it. So to say our blog posts are "deviant" is completely absurd to me.
If that is how you actually feel, don't read my fucking blog, or Dustin's for that matter. I understand that he was concerned about his brother, and just wanted to make sure he was okay. I get that, but for fuck's sake, don't go off the deep end, and understand when people are in a crisis situation that you may not be at the top of their list of things to do or people to contact. If you've been told that the person you're worried about is okay, take it at that and give them a day or two to let things settle down before you start calling and texting non-stop.
I have never met my brother-in-law face to face, and after last week, I'd honestly rather not meet him. I have no desire to get to know someone that threatens to take my kids from me, for no good fucking reason. And if you happen to stumble upon this post, dear brother-in-law, go with your gut on how I feel about you. I don't know you, you don't know me, but your gut has never been wrong before, right?
Again, I apologize to my regular readers. I will have something sexy up soon, I promise. Like I said, I just needed to get this off my chest.
Currently, we are in the process of moving. We are staying with friends until we find a place, and this all came about quite suddenly. I'd rather not go into the details of that here, but let's just say, it's not exactly happy circumstances. Anyways, my husband (who's blog can be found here) posted some things on Facebook that he didn't mean. It upset and worried a lot of people, including family.
The day after those posts were made was the day we needed to get everything out of the old apartment. It was a clusterfuck, but we got it done, thankfully. In the middle of packing, loading up the Uhaul, taking things to where we'd be staying, taking care of our pets and 2 year old, all on very little sleep, my brother-in-law decides he's going to text the exact same thing 20+ times to my husband. He also started calling, a lot. To be fair to both sides, Dustin's phone was on silent, and he didn't have it on him, so he didn't know about it until much later in the day.
Cue my phone starting to go off. I got a text message, in the middle of trying to coordinate movers to come help, asking me why Dustin was ignoring him. First off, I don't know how he got my number, but whatever. I was polite and texted back that everything was fine, but didn't elaborate. I was a little busy, after all. He asked if he could help, I told him no, and I thought that was the end of it.
We finally have the Uhaul loaded up, and are driving over to the storage unit to put everything inside. My phone rings, and it's my brother-in-law. I don't answer and let it go to voice mail. Before I can even listen to the voice mail, he texts me, asking me why Dustin is ignoring him, and if I could get Dustin to call ASAP because he's worried. I was honest and told him it may not be till the next day because we were a bit busy. His response: "Seriously? I understand you guys are in crisis mode but after what he said on Facebook he can't take two minutes to call or text??"
My response: "I'm not with him. He's taking care of our daughter, and I'm moving. He's fine, I'll have him call you when he gets a chance." I thought that was the end of it. Boy, was I wrong.
Over the next 2 days, he continues to text Dustin incessantly, while Dustin is at work and can't answer. Because he wasn't getting the response he wanted, or felt he deserved, he resorts to posting on Dustin's Facebook wall. This is where I got pissed off.
I can't say I remember everything he wrote, and Dustin has since taken it down, but it went along the lines of because of what Dustin posted on Facebook, and since what we write in our blogs is pretty deviant stuff (because a husband and wife writing about their sex life is really fucking deviant behavior), we could get our daughter taken away from us. Any good, decent parent in the world would probably have the same reaction I did. Fuck you. You're family, and you're threatening that our daughter could be taken away? Who the fuck are you? I know the laws in the state of Colorado, and I know that no, she could not be taken away because of the Facebook posts. And what we write in our blogs? I personally view it as us sharing our love, and the enjoyment we get from one another with the world. I think it's a beautiful thing that we love each other enough, and are comfortable with and trust each other enough to put ourselves out there like that. There aren't a lot of happy marriages out there now, and I'd like to think that we inspire people, in one way or another. I could be completely off on all of that, but that's how I feel about it. So to say our blog posts are "deviant" is completely absurd to me.
If that is how you actually feel, don't read my fucking blog, or Dustin's for that matter. I understand that he was concerned about his brother, and just wanted to make sure he was okay. I get that, but for fuck's sake, don't go off the deep end, and understand when people are in a crisis situation that you may not be at the top of their list of things to do or people to contact. If you've been told that the person you're worried about is okay, take it at that and give them a day or two to let things settle down before you start calling and texting non-stop.
I have never met my brother-in-law face to face, and after last week, I'd honestly rather not meet him. I have no desire to get to know someone that threatens to take my kids from me, for no good fucking reason. And if you happen to stumble upon this post, dear brother-in-law, go with your gut on how I feel about you. I don't know you, you don't know me, but your gut has never been wrong before, right?
Again, I apologize to my regular readers. I will have something sexy up soon, I promise. Like I said, I just needed to get this off my chest.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
formspring.me
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Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Morning Head
Since I've started my new job, I seem to get up with more than enough time to get ready in the morning. With it being summer, Dustin and I usually sleep naked just because it's too hot to sleep with anything on. We go to bed at different times, so I never know until I get up in the morning if he is naked or not. Having the extra time in the morning has been nice because I've been able to enjoy looking at his body. I think my husband is sexy as hell, and I'm very lucky to have him. He works out, and takes care of his body, and I just love staring at it. I honestly can't help myself, not that I would want to. His arms, his legs, his ass, his back, I mean, it's all amazing.
Where was I? Oh yeah. So when I'm getting ready for work in the morning, I have a clear view of him sleeping in bed. I have found myself, on at least 2 occasions, not able to control myself. Both times, I simply walked over to the bed and started kissing on him. Each time, he woke up, a little, but not really.
The first time he was already on his back. I was wearing leggings, his favorite next to tall socks, and began to suck on his gorgeous cock. He woke up quickly after that. I sucked and stroked and teased his cock. It was different because I knew I was on a little bit of a time limit, and that is something I'm not used to at all. I'm used to being able to take my time and go as slow as I wanted. It was almost like a challenge to me that I gladly accepted. He was playing with me while I was sucking on him, which is always a nice turn of events, and I wasn't expecting it at all. I got off, and then it was time for me to get him off. I love feeling how hard he's getting in my mouth and my hand. I love feeling him buck his hips towards me because he wants more and is close to filling my mouth with his hot cum. I love hearing him moan, grunt, growl (depending on the mood) while I have him in my mouth. I especially love feeling his hands roam aimlessly over my body, and then grab hold tightly because he's about to explode. I love everything about giving him head. In case I haven't mentioned this before, I swallow. If he cums in my mouth, I swallow every last drop, and will continue to play with him to make sure I get all of it, and give him an intense orgasm in the process. I finished him off, swallowed all of it, and finished getting ready for work.
Then came this morning. I've been very horny all week, and getting him off always makes me feel a little better, for the moment. I have been waking up way before my alarm this week, and this morning was no exception. I got up and tried to take my time getting ready for work, but didn't have coffee, and didn't feel like really doing my hair, so I just put it up and was ready to go in no time. Today, I wore a nice short skirt to work, with a thong. It would have provided very easy access, and I was considering just mounting him and getting myself off, but I had to get him hard first. And then I realized he was sleeping on his stomach. I can't mount him this way, what am I going to do. I started kissing on his neck and shoulders, and could tell he was semi-conscious, so I told him to roll over. Looking at him, I could hardly contain myself. I knew he still wasn't awake, so I would have to work to get him hard. I had a little more time to play because I woke up so early. Hearing him gradually waking up, feeling him get harder in my hand and mouth was such a turn on. I had started kneeling on the bed, but as he woke up and got harder, I decided to stand next to the bed so he could touch me, too. The harder he got, the more he moaned, the more I wanted him to cum.
I started to feel, and see, his hips starting to move. I knew I was doing a good job. I pulled him out of my mouth, and started to use just my hand. I was caressing the tip because I know that's the most sensitive part, I love the reaction I get from him when I do that. He was quickly becoming breathless, and started begging me to suck on him some more. I was enjoying using my hand at the moment, so that's what I continued to do. I could tell he was close, and by now, I was doing everything I could just to make him explode. I didn't have to wait long. I was able to catch most of it in my hand, but dribbled a little onto his abdomen. I went to get something to clean it up with, and once I cleaned it off him, I stroked him a few more times, just for that added release for him. I kissed him, and told him to go back to sleep.
That's just the kind of wife I am. :)
Where was I? Oh yeah. So when I'm getting ready for work in the morning, I have a clear view of him sleeping in bed. I have found myself, on at least 2 occasions, not able to control myself. Both times, I simply walked over to the bed and started kissing on him. Each time, he woke up, a little, but not really.
Then came this morning. I've been very horny all week, and getting him off always makes me feel a little better, for the moment. I have been waking up way before my alarm this week, and this morning was no exception. I got up and tried to take my time getting ready for work, but didn't have coffee, and didn't feel like really doing my hair, so I just put it up and was ready to go in no time. Today, I wore a nice short skirt to work, with a thong. It would have provided very easy access, and I was considering just mounting him and getting myself off, but I had to get him hard first. And then I realized he was sleeping on his stomach. I can't mount him this way, what am I going to do. I started kissing on his neck and shoulders, and could tell he was semi-conscious, so I told him to roll over. Looking at him, I could hardly contain myself. I knew he still wasn't awake, so I would have to work to get him hard. I had a little more time to play because I woke up so early. Hearing him gradually waking up, feeling him get harder in my hand and mouth was such a turn on. I had started kneeling on the bed, but as he woke up and got harder, I decided to stand next to the bed so he could touch me, too. The harder he got, the more he moaned, the more I wanted him to cum.
That's just the kind of wife I am. :)
Saturday, August 6, 2011
I'm an Asshole
I think the title of this post really explains it all. For anyone that has been reading my blog for any amount of time, you have probably noticed that there haven't been an abundance of posts lately. To be honest, real life has gotten in the way, and I don't seem to have much material to work with. I guess it started when Dustin posted this blog entry. It upset me a lot. So, I began to go out of my way to start things, and come on to him. I started a new job, so I'm working days now and have to get up early in the morning. I have to force myself to stay up until he gets home from work most nights just so I can see him, let alone have sex with him. I pointed out to him, that while I understand he was just voicing his needs, I have some needs too. I go to bed alone every night. There may be 1 night every couple of months or so where we go to bed at the same time. I absolutely hate it. I have always known that he's a night owl, and it's fine, but I need my husband to come lay in bed and cuddle with me every now and then, not go to sleep, just fucking lay with me. And I don't need it all the time, once a week, once a month, something would be nice. I've told him this time and time again in the 4 years we've been married, and his response is always that he's not tired when I go to bed. So, I need to learn how to get over it.
I miss holding hands. I miss him putting his arms around me just because he wants to. I just miss how things used to be, when we would both attack each other the second we were alone together. I miss making out with him, hell, I miss getting kisses (other than the obligatory peck on the lips when he leaves for work, and I don't even get that all the time) on a regular basis, not just when one of us is in the mood.
The other day, while I was getting ready for work, I walked over and kissed him while I thought he was asleep. He started rubbing on me, so I decided to give him a blow job. Now, don't get me wrong, I love giving my husband blow jobs. I know how much he enjoys it, too. He was playing with me a little while I was giving him head, but I was doing this mostly for him. I've also been wearing leggings almost every day this week because I know how much he enjoys them, as well. We used our last condom last week, and haven't bought more, so we can't have vaginal sex right now, so wearing the leggings has been kind of dumb on my part. Granted, there are plenty of other things we could do besides that, but I found out yesterday that I have to say what I want to do. Sigh.
Last night, he came to bed and started playing with me, and it was amazing. Waking up to the start of an orgasm is always good. Anyways, when I was done, I thought we were done. Again, I'm an asshole. I didn't even attempt to finish him off, or ask about it until he opened the toy drawer and started rummaging through it. I told him then that I would, that I had no problem with it, I just didn't think about it, but all I got was "No, it's fine." I even attempted to be aggressive about it, something he's said he wants me to do, and still nothing. As I'm writing this I'm practically in tears because I didn't give him what he wanted. Why is that? Why am I so upset about not giving him what he wanted one time? Am I just an asshole, or am I really that stupid? I'm starting to feel like I'm not good enough for him, no matter what I do, and I don't know how to fix that.
I miss holding hands. I miss him putting his arms around me just because he wants to. I just miss how things used to be, when we would both attack each other the second we were alone together. I miss making out with him, hell, I miss getting kisses (other than the obligatory peck on the lips when he leaves for work, and I don't even get that all the time) on a regular basis, not just when one of us is in the mood.
The other day, while I was getting ready for work, I walked over and kissed him while I thought he was asleep. He started rubbing on me, so I decided to give him a blow job. Now, don't get me wrong, I love giving my husband blow jobs. I know how much he enjoys it, too. He was playing with me a little while I was giving him head, but I was doing this mostly for him. I've also been wearing leggings almost every day this week because I know how much he enjoys them, as well. We used our last condom last week, and haven't bought more, so we can't have vaginal sex right now, so wearing the leggings has been kind of dumb on my part. Granted, there are plenty of other things we could do besides that, but I found out yesterday that I have to say what I want to do. Sigh.
Last night, he came to bed and started playing with me, and it was amazing. Waking up to the start of an orgasm is always good. Anyways, when I was done, I thought we were done. Again, I'm an asshole. I didn't even attempt to finish him off, or ask about it until he opened the toy drawer and started rummaging through it. I told him then that I would, that I had no problem with it, I just didn't think about it, but all I got was "No, it's fine." I even attempted to be aggressive about it, something he's said he wants me to do, and still nothing. As I'm writing this I'm practically in tears because I didn't give him what he wanted. Why is that? Why am I so upset about not giving him what he wanted one time? Am I just an asshole, or am I really that stupid? I'm starting to feel like I'm not good enough for him, no matter what I do, and I don't know how to fix that.
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